WREX'S WRAP-UP

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By Rex O’Rourke

NEW YORK, NY – OK, I got into the spirit of the proceedings and watched and DVR’ed a ton of Olympic coverage and I enjoyed most of it. Some of it was kind of goofy, though. A Few highlights and low-lights for you.

The Canadian speed skating uniforms with the saran/crotch wrap left nothing to the imagination, revealing both camel toes and clams on the beach. I could see what they had for breakfast, for Pete’s sake!

Steve Holcomb of the gold medal winning bobsled team seemed a little doughy, but then so are the lugers. I guess the heavier you are the faster you go. Gravity strikes again. I know it’s striking me.

What in the name of Dick Button is going on with figure skating? We have men, women, pairs, ice dancing, and after it’s all over they have Ice Capades. Enough already!

Curling is AWESOME! It’s bowling, it’s shuffleboard, it’s mullets, it’s silly pants, it’s bald guys, it’s Russian hotties, it’s shot rocks, it’s last rocks, it’s all the pressure of a six footer to win the Masters, it’s Swiss misses with tongue studs, it’s rising to the occasion, it’s choking, it’s screaming, it’s inturns, it’s outturns, it’s the hammer, it’s silly shoes, it’s sweeping, it’s strategy, it’s Don Duguid (The Don Cherry of curling), it’s doubles, it’s guards, and it’s house cleaning. Apparently, though, the U.S. of A. stinks at it!

I was happy for Bode Miller. He seems like a decent guy and taking home some hardware gets the A-Rod style monkey off his back.

Shaun White brings slackerdom into the mainstream. That kid is out of his mind.

Understatement of the week. Cross country skiers appear to be in good shape.

What goes through your mind the first time you catapult yourself off a large hill ski jump. The first word out of your mouth has to be S@#&@#&@#&T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stephen Colbert should host the next Winter Games.

West Coast Craig Monday, tomorrow.
Until next week,
Rex

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