Angry Ward Wednesday: Yanks, Mets, MLB Hot Stove, Hotter Cheese & West Coast Ballin’

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NEW YORK, NY - I wasn’t expecting to write today, but when my all-star replacement West Coast Craig lost his Grandma to that Big Brunswick in the Sky (apparently she was an avid bowler), I was more than happy to take my usual turn. Craig, it goes without saying that all of us here at MTM hope she’s throwing beer frame strikes for eternity. In the meantime, there’s plenty of recent Hot Stove baseball action to talk about, as well as other stuff. Let’s get to it.

Winter Meetings. Baseball’s winter meetings (it’s not even winter yet!) ended a week ago in Nashville with a collective zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Seriously, the thing played out like a Canasta tournament at a seniors center. But since then, things have been getting pretty interesting. Zack Greinke signed for six years and gobs of money with the Dodgers, where the disinterested fans should keep him from getting the heebie jeebies. Michael Young joined the Phils and James Shields left TB for KC, which may actually be an upgrade for him. But not everyone’s wheeling and dealing like crazy…

Sandy and Cash. The Mets and Yanks were the walking dead at the winter meetings… The Yankees did manage to bring back golden oldies Andy Pettitte and Mariano Rivera for at least one more year while also re-signing Hiroki Kuroda in the event either of them needs an organ donor, but were fairly quiet otherwise. Even more interesting are reports that Bombers GM Brian Cashman is no longer allowed to take so much as a leak without getting Randy Levine’s OK. His current status with the club seems eerily familiar to George Costanza’s tenure with Play Now. But, wait just a second… Kevin Youkilis has agreed to a one-year deal with the Yanks. And that sound you heard was Cookie’s head exploding… Meanwhile, it’s no business as usual for Sandy Alderson and the Mets. Sure they locked up Wright, but what about R.A. Dickey? How long can you dangle the poor guy as trade bait. He was the only one putting any asses in the seats at Shea Shack last year and they should find a way to bring him back. Nuff said. If they are having trouble coming up with the money, we have a solution…

Cheesy Bruin

The Cheeseman. Not sure how many of you have been getting to this site on Sundays but our own Cheesy Bruin has been knocking ‘em dead with his NFL picks. The guy is absolutely on fire. In fact, if he took his own advice and stopped picking an “over” each weekend his winning percentage would be like .875 or something. He went three for four against the spread again this past weekend losing only with, you guessed it, an over. I would take CB’s picks over every single so-called “professional” picking for the local papers and websites. The guy knows his stuff and degenerate gamblers everywhere need to be alerted. If I had any disposable income of any kind, I wouldn’t be wasting it going to see The Rolling Stones, I’d be flying Mr. Bruin out to Vegas and looking to make a real killing the last few weeks of the season.

The NBA? I hate the NBA, don’t I? Well, not as much is listening to updates from the NHL on cancelled games. Just cancel the f*cking season already, put us out of our collective misery and shut the f*ck up, all of you. In the meantime, amazingly, my favorite lousy NBA team isn’t so lousy right now. The Golden State Warriors are 14-7 and just a half game out of first in the Pacific. That’s 5 games better than the Lakersfer crissakes!!! I admit, I’ve been taking notice and have watched a few games.

Lakers are “tailing” Golden State & their cheerleaders.

Funny, but I knew I would have more than just a passing interest after I read this scathing “opposing scout’s take” on the Warriors in Sports Illustrated’s NBA preview. It’s insane, right? Did Chris Mullin give this guy anal warts once upon a time? Anyway, I hope Golden State keeps sticking it to whoever that scout was.

In the meantime stick around here for Cam James tomorrow.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.
  • Nick Erbocker

    You guys are late! The NBA got a whole lot better with the Knicks and Nets playing the way they are. That was an exciting game last night. But it’s weird to see players going over and shaking hands with Jay Z after the game.

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      Sorry, Mr. Erbocker, we were indeed tardy… These damned auto-publish didn’t get inputted properly! But like the NBA, you didn’t miss anything before the hour of 8…

  • http://twitter.com/JunoirBlaber Junoir Blaber

    Watching Golden State, games?? You should feel dirty. May I remind you that no sports team has ever won when they were not name after a city or state. Think about that AW. They are not even called California Warriors, but a nickname for the the State.

    • AngryWard

      Thanks for the reminder but the Golden State Warriors won an NBA Championship as the Golden State Warriors in 1975.

      • http://twitter.com/JunoirBlaber Junoir Blaber

        Ok maybe I exaggerated but IT is going on 8 years since NE last won and AW, I was a 3 year old big headed baby when Golden State last won, so that outta tell you how rare that is.

        • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

          Exaggeration and contrived facts/stats here?! This is an outrage!

      • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

        Oh, snap!

    • AZ2FLA

      I’m still trying to find the state of New England according to your theory….

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      AZ2FLA just popped your bubble, Junoir. Shoot the boot.

  • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

    I had such WEIRD dreams last night…. I woke up and all groggy walked a few steps outta bed and had forgotten about the Youk deal. I then remembered and hence.. another day is RUINED.

    Diff and Mrs. Matt pointed out the silver lining to this deal tho… if anyone is more pissed about this deal.. it’s Red Sox fans. bosoxbruins… i need you to weigh in here on this deal.

  • DannyBax@

    Is that a Dale Hunter shirt AND a Cowboys star??? That is douchey! haha

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      Cheesy Bruin has AWFUL taste is his sports teams. As do Cookie, Angry Ward, Grote2DMax, West Coast Craig and The Public Professor. The ONLY teams to root for are:
      1) NY Giants
      2) NY Mets
      3) NY Rangers
      4) NY Knicks

      • Cam_James

        and the Cardinals, Blues and Rams!

    • http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

      Hey Bax, that pix of me is Short Matts abuse of power as he knows how much I loathe that mother ****er Dale Hunter. Terry O’Reilly is the name on the back of my Bruins shirt.

  • Cam_James

    Wake me up when spring training starts….

  • Tall Matt

    NOW Mick Taylor is playing with the Stones on 13th & 15th? Not the show I went to? Too much hotell and per diem between the 8th & the 13th I guess. I’m madder than a gay rooster in a hen house%$(@!#(!#&#!@!!!

    • Grote2Dmax

      I just sold my tickets for Saturday because I couldn’t stomach paying $500. I might try to go on the cheap if I can get tickets. Any interest in giving away the kids 2013 Christmas money as well?

      • Cam_James

        why not just give away the kids?

    • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

      You can’t be mad and gay at the same time! Wait… A-Dubya?

  • Tall Matt

    Oh and hi Ward! Nice column. Nice Knicks win last night. Condolences to WCC :(

  • http://ThePublicProfessor.com The Public Professor

    We should invest in CB and collect dividends.

  • Dude

    Could the contributors to this site (aside from tall matt) please stop collectively hating on the national basketball association? ward the warriors? really? why on earth would you root for that team? great win for the knicks last night crushing the nets in BK. i attended a nets game last week to see what the new arena is all about and i can conclude they are still the NETS. it is impossible to root for a team that has kris kardashian on the roster. i saw ONE net fan in attendance who was wearing a vintage drazen petrovich jersey and he was the only one. the rest of their “fans” are transplants from iowa or tennessee who like to say they are from brooklyn because they’ve lived there for all of six months, and like the color scheme of their flatbilled caps. true ny’ers root for the knicks- the one team that unites the whole city. soon the nfl will be over and you all will start noticing. be ahead of the curve.

    • Cam_James

      When the National Bore me Association gets to the playoffs i will stop hating until then this transplant from Missourah hates the NBA and I especially hate every player who wears cardigans and glasses with no lenses.

      • http://twitter.com/JunoirBlaber Junoir Blaber

        The NBA season is long and boring at times but at least it stops at 82 and not 162!!

    • AngryWard

      Tall Matt is a contributor?

      • Tall Matt

        GImme my money back!

    • Sam’s-A-Knicks-Fan-Always!

      I hope that there is room in my new religion (Yimnastics was it?) for me to honor if not worship the Dude! He speaks it like he feels it and he is righteous! I bought a minority share of a season plan for the Nets to help out some of my colleagues who are legitimate Brooklynites, but Knicks fans as is only right, and I went to the game against Milwaukee Sunday night. As the Dude says, same old Nets! I bought in because I wanted to see real live basketball again and I’ll be damned if I’m going to give James Dolan a penny of my money.

      • http://meetthematts.com/ Meet The Matts

        Hold the phone, Dude! We happen to be fan of Los Knicks! They’ve just been unwatchable for 10 of the past 12 seasons. We watched last night’s game and actually had neighbors wondering what all the yelling was about…

        • Dude

          that’s the spirit!

      • Dude

        wow! thanks sam… but i but a man same as you. do not worship false idols!

        • Tall Matt

          Rasheed is top ten list for douches in NBA, JR Smith is a chucker and it will come back to bite us. Carmelo is a douche too though not top ten and Dolan is the devil incarnate. McLovin the Knicks anyway and despite it all. What a J Kidd shot at the end OMG. Thus ends my contributions for now.

          • Dude

            ‘sheed is awesome. i can name dozens of douchier players than him, yeah he gets too many technicals but you cant doubt his heart. smith seems to have his chucking under control this season, no doubt due to having kidd on the roster. and the team will be less reliant on him once amare comes back. dolan is the devil, but at least he spends money… as opposed to the wilpons who are nice guys but cheap and clueless. carmelo is playing inspired ball and is on a mission this year. team just needs to stay healthy. but then again are down 2 starters already and doing pretty well… time will tell

          • Sam’s-A-Knicks-Fan-Always

            Ball don’t lie!

  • Grote2Dmax

    Let’s get the Cheeseman to Vegas, stat.

    • AngryWard

      Exactly. Use your $500 for something like that.

  • Johnny Rox

    The New York Yankees sign a Jewish baseball player, with a great glove, and an uncanny ability to get on base and Yankee fans are upset???

    AND we get to see Red Sawx Fans lose it?
    What’s NOT to love???

    I’m even more thrilled about possibly re-signing Ichiro!!!

    Sad to see R.A. Dickey have to go through this Sh*t with the Mets! Not blaming the Mets, it’s just a shitty part of the business of baseball! He’s a great guy, with a lot to offer whoever he plays for! Hopefully it works out that they keep him, or get a TON for him!!!

    Dude,
    I never talk hoops here, as nobody really cares about it, but watching the Knicks has finally gotten VERY exciting! As if that weren’t enough, the Nets have also put together a very good team! Last nights game was INCREDIBLE! I’m VERY curious to see how the Knicks respond to having Amare back in the lineup! If they can stay healthy during the very long season it should be interesting! We’ll see!

    J…

    • AngryWard

      I doubt they’ll get what they want for Dickey in a trade so they would be better served coming to some sort of agreement with him, say three years at $10 to $12 million per. It’s getting ugly though and he’s a fan fave. Nothing ever comes easy for the Mets.

  • Diff

    Fine, dude. I’ll watch ONE Knicks game to see if it sticks.

    • Dude

      all i can ask…

  • You Suck

    J.R. Smith had tights on and looked stupid. Was he hiding new tats? And the game sucked for most of the first half because the Knicks were getting blown out. Thats why the NBA sucks.

  • SentFromMyBlackberryWireless
    • AngryWard

      What did they expect? He had to get back to livin’ la vida loca sooner or later.

      • http://twitter.com/Cookies_Corner Cookies Corner

        What? He’s ‘RICK’ now? As in following in the ‘Ricky’ to ‘Rick’ footsteps of a one, Ricky Schroder? PUH-LEASE.

  • vinny from brooklyn

    looks like mets might keep dickey. this is from the post. nice asses on the cheer leaders. keep those coming.
    http://www.nypost.com/p/sports/mets/sherman_B5gARAr47vYL79mrONZFhI

  • http://twitter.com/CheesyBruin Cheesy Bruin

    Ward, thanks for throwing me a bouquet of roses. The check is in the mail fella! Didn’t have a shred of doubt on the Pats Monday night. I got Johnny Unda on speed dial this year. Are my picks funding the MTM holiday party given by The Bald One?

  • Sam’s-A-Sot

    Ward, I was thinking of you at lunch today when I got taken to the new Char #4 spot in Manhattan, it’s called May something, and I was encouraged to splurge and get a ridiculously expensive glass of the Hirsch Reserve 16 year old. I was thinking of Clancy too, Yim be praised, as the pulled pork sandwich was one of the best I’ve ever had. Afterwards we hit the bar at Nomad and the Pappy 23 was flowing! To quote Ice Cube, it was a very good day!

    • AngryWard

      It goes without saying that I’m insanely jealous. Yours in Yim, AW.

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