Angry Ward Wednesday: Yanks, Mets, MLB Hot Stove, Hotter Cheese & West Coast Ballin’

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NEW YORK, NY – I wasn’t expecting to write today, but when my all-star replacement West Coast Craig lost his Grandma to that Big Brunswick in the Sky (apparently she was an avid bowler), I was more than happy to take my usual turn. Craig, it goes without saying that all of us here at MTM hope she’s throwing beer frame strikes for eternity. In the meantime, there’s plenty of recent Hot Stove baseball action to talk about, as well as other stuff. Let’s get to it.

Winter Meetings. Baseball’s winter meetings (it’s not even winter yet!) ended a week ago in Nashville with a collective zzzzzzzzzzzzz. Seriously, the thing played out like a Canasta tournament at a seniors center. But since then, things have been getting pretty interesting. Zack Greinke signed for six years and gobs of money with the Dodgers, where the disinterested fans should keep him from getting the heebie jeebies. Michael Young joined the Phils and James Shields left TB for KC, which may actually be an upgrade for him. But not everyone’s wheeling and dealing like crazy…

Sandy and Cash. The Mets and Yanks were the walking dead at the winter meetings… The Yankees did manage to bring back golden oldies Andy Pettitte and Mariano Rivera for at least one more year while also re-signing Hiroki Kuroda in the event either of them needs an organ donor, but were fairly quiet otherwise. Even more interesting are reports that Bombers GM Brian Cashman is no longer allowed to take so much as a leak without getting Randy Levine’s OK. His current status with the club seems eerily familiar to George Costanza’s tenure with Play Now. But, wait just a second… Kevin Youkilis has agreed to a one-year deal with the Yanks. And that sound you heard was Cookie’s head exploding… Meanwhile, it’s no business as usual for Sandy Alderson and the Mets. Sure they locked up Wright, but what about R.A. Dickey? How long can you dangle the poor guy as trade bait. He was the only one putting any asses in the seats at Shea Shack last year and they should find a way to bring him back. Nuff said. If they are having trouble coming up with the money, we have a solution…

Cheesy Bruin

The Cheeseman. Not sure how many of you have been getting to this site on Sundays but our own Cheesy Bruin has been knocking ’em dead with his NFL picks. The guy is absolutely on fire. In fact, if he took his own advice and stopped picking an “over” each weekend his winning percentage would be like .875 or something. He went three for four against the spread again this past weekend losing only with, you guessed it, an over. I would take CB’s picks over every single so-called “professional” picking for the local papers and websites. The guy knows his stuff and degenerate gamblers everywhere need to be alerted. If I had any disposable income of any kind, I wouldn’t be wasting it going to see The Rolling Stones, I’d be flying Mr. Bruin out to Vegas and looking to make a real killing the last few weeks of the season.

The NBA? I hate the NBA, don’t I? Well, not as much is listening to updates from the NHL on cancelled games. Just cancel the f*cking season already, put us out of our collective misery and shut the f*ck up, all of you. In the meantime, amazingly, my favorite lousy NBA team isn’t so lousy right now. The Golden State Warriors are 14-7 and just a half game out of first in the Pacific. That’s 5 games better than the Lakersfer crissakes!!! I admit, I’ve been taking notice and have watched a few games.

Lakers are “tailing” Golden State & their cheerleaders.

Funny, but I knew I would have more than just a passing interest after I read this scathing “opposing scout’s take” on the Warriors in Sports Illustrated’s NBA preview. It’s insane, right? Did Chris Mullin give this guy anal warts once upon a time? Anyway, I hope Golden State keeps sticking it to whoever that scout was.

In the meantime stick around here for Cam James tomorrow.

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Wednesday: Angry Ward, who has admirers at the NY Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way conservatives embrace Mitt Romney. While the Vikings tease him incessantly with flirtations of success, the Golden State Warriors, "Don't have a enough short, white angry guys but I don't dislike them... that much." A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, The Franchise.

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