Tag: Giselle Bundchen

Big Ben on Lying Scumbags: Gregg Williams Uses “It Wasn’t Me” Defense & Bill Belichick Plays Dumb

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EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ – There’s an old Eddie Murphy bit in Raw where he advises a man caught cheating to deny it no matter what. “I saw you coming out of her house!” Response: “It wasn’t me.” Well, the deny everything defense has caught on. A few days ago Don the Con blamed energy-saving light […]

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Big Ben Tuesday: Bad Start for New York Football, Pats are Worst Franchise Ever

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A SWAMP IN NJ – Sooooooo, who’s ready for some Daniel Jones? It was a rough weekend for the New York football teams. The Jets blew a heart-breaker and the Giants just blew. On the other hand, the New England Patriots looked unbeatable and oh-by-the-way, added one of the best receivers in the league, albeit […]

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Big Ben: Things You Should Have Done Instead of Watching Horrible Super Bowl

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SNOOZEVILLE, USA – Was that Downton Abbey or the Super Bowl? Holy hell was that boring. The only thing worse than the game was the halftime show. Here’s are a few things I would have rather been doing than watching that game. 1. Listen to a season’s worth of questions to Bill Bellichick about the […]

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Big Ben: Ranking the Potential Super Bowl Match-ups

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Atlanta, GA: With all the top seeds advancing, we have two excellent championship games on tap. Both home teams are favored by around a field goal. As the home team usually gets three points in the line, Vegas thinks these teams are about even. All four teams could are a threat to win it all. Here […]

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Big Ben’s Super Bowl Recap: Brick Hands Brady Terminated by Pederson’s Mighty Balls

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Now that the Super Bowl is over, it’s time to talk about the Knicks. They suck. Now back to football. That game had more plot twists than the episode of This is Us that followed. You know, according to my wife. I didn’t watch it. Anyhoo, let’s try to make some sense of one wild […]

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Big Ben’s Worst Super Bowl Match-up Ever Preview: Getting in Brady’s Head, What’s a Giants Fan To Do? Go Pats?!

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MINNEAPOLIS, MN – I am trying to find something to care about in the Worst Super Bowl Match-up Ever. When I heard about Tom Brady’s hand injury ahead of the AFC Championship Game, it seemed like classic Belichick superfuge. This is a guy who does not use the “probable” designation or give more than a […]

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Broncos Bustin’ Madison Avenue Manning? Or Just Greedy SOB?

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FORT COLLINS, CO – As Peyton Manning began racing across the Levi Stadium grass as time expired, you’d think he’d be sprinting towards his wife, kids, parents or hell, even brother Eli. After all, he had just won his 2nd Super Bowl, in what most think was his last NFL game. Wanting to share the […]

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Greg Hardy Beat the SH”&*%^T out of a Woman; Tom Brady Gets Same Ban?

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245 Park Ave. NY, NY–I think we can all agree that this is one more hackneyed story that has been bludgeoned, beaten, and bloodied to a pulp by the “worldwide leaders.” And there are now even rumors of a split between Uber Super Model Giselle Bundchen (who-hold your thoughts for a moment-I believe is a […]

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PROP BETS for the Super Big Game Bowl!

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FROZEN, NY – The first Sunday in February means one thing and one thing only; it’s the biggest football game of the year. It’s so BIG, it’s got Roman numerals in its name and we’re not allowed to say its name! That’s BIG! MTM Management decided we should refer to it as the SBBG (Super […]

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COOKIE'S CORNER: THE FIRST WIVES CLUB

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NOT TIGER’S MANSION, FLA – It’s Friday and before you start your groaning about a post about ‘WIVES,’ give it a chance. We’ve had more talk of Tiger Woods’ indiscretions than is necessary. I mean, I am pretty sure if we did a media poll, it’d show that Tiger’s name has been mentioned more than […]

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