by Junior Blaber (Not above)
NEW YORK, NY – I wanna dedicate this article to Jean Finnegan Biden, Joe Biden’s mom. I like Biden in general cause you just never know what he is gonna say. Sucks to have someone you know die, especially your mom. So RIP and my condolences, Joe.
NOTE: We’re not not now talking politics here; Sports First and Always.
Mark David McGuire – Call me a cynic, but I am about as surprised about McGuire coming out of his closet as when Martina Navratilova came out of hers. I thought, ‘Okay.’ Then grabbed a beer. This annoys me, though, because he times it just after the HOF announcements and before reporting to “Da ‘Lou” as a less-than-holy Cardinal. The Hall tells him to “… piss-off until you admit it.” and he starts panicking about the new career. Humph. It is scary how right Canseco was – I am sorry for doubting you, Jose – about who was using in the game. Also, Jose and Jimmy are right, Mark:
“There is no crying in baseball.”
Cooperstown Hall of Fame â€“It is great for Andre Dawson to finally get into the Hall-of-Fame. But what took so long? Nine tries!? By the way, Hawk… Whose hat you gonna wear? Expos? Cubs? How ’bout the Nats, since they were Les Expos?
Gilbert Arenas â€“ Gun in the locker room was dumb but the pre-game warm-up act was a joke. Stupid is as stupid does, (More from Tom Hanks in a minute.)
BCS Championship: I thought this game was never gonna come. They really gotta play it no later than Jan three. I mean it took forever to get here.
As for the game itself, Wow. How much does it suck to be Colt McCoy. I am second, indeed. We all knew the ‘Horns were up against it and they did battle bravely but when Colt went down in the face of the rabid attacking dog that is the â€˜Bama D, you knew it wasn’t gonna end well. They fought to make it close but yet again, the SEC wins. Congrats to the SEC but ask Dr. Diz what the avg. graduation rate of the SEC is.
World Juniors: Ah… Hockey. Invented by Canadians, perfected by Americans. U!-S!-A! U!-S!-A! U!-S!-A! How about that, Canuckies!!! For those that donâ€™t know, Team USA beat Canada in the World Hockey Juniors Tourney. An international tourney filled with young players in the NHL Minors. Three of the US players are with the Rangers so hopefully they will get better and make Glen Sather look smart again.
Leilani Tonga â€“ Chris Henryâ€™s fiancÃ©e will not face criminal charges in his death. I say she should. I have my doubts as to how fast she drove and whether Chris really jumped out. But what do I know?
Pete Carroll to Seattle â€“ I called it wrong on Jim Mora. Sue me. How many of you saw this coming? “Not I.” said the fly. Apparently Carroll will come in as the GM and Coach because after his first NFL go-round and time at USC, he realized that you need to be able to run things. That, and those pending recruiting practice investigations. They lead to expeditious exits and our next slug line:
USC & OJ Mayo â€“ Hold the Mayo! Apparently USC broke NCAA recruiting rules to get Mayo. But didn’t we all know this? This canâ€™t-get-in-the-NBA-til-19 thing has made college programs rife with this corruption. The NCAA needs to start paying these kids. I donâ€™t care if it is a percentage deferred until you get your diploma but something has to give.
Lane Kiffin to USC â€“ Who would have thought Al Davis was right about something? He said Lane was “… a boy and a lair.” Now UT fans know that the Dark Lord called it right. He took two assistants, stole another from UCLA and is telling his former Tennessee recruits not go to class so it is easier to transfer to USC. Q: What has Lane done that he is such a hot ticket coach? This will end in Mark McGwire tears for Trojan fans.
Note to NCAA â€“ We know that NCAA Basketball & Football – and to a lesser degree, Baseball & Hockey – are tickets to the pros for these kids. Yet, they are recruited/bribed by coaches that can leave at anytime. It is a farce. A lie. The coaches are making 3 mil a year and the kids have to be happy with nothing. It reminds me of the talk about Futboll going pro and people trying to stop them. Really, just use the European system where you can sign a kid at age 13 to your academy and when Little Meal Ticket turns 18, ink a pro contract. LMT will align the schools with teams in the region to make it more regional.
NY Jets – I love the fact that even though they were given a comfy ride into the playoffs by the Colts and Bengals, they went out there and bet Cincy in Cincy. They make me nervous because they are starting to give me hope.
-Tom Schonberg is father of the year to me. He named his son after the Jets but not so horribly that the kid won’t have a future. He will still be able to put his name on a resume and not hear a giggle. People meet Jake Schonberg, Jake Edward Thomas Schonberg. Here is father and son and I gotta tell you, Jake looks like his namesake, a heartbreaker.
Life Advice: How To Tell Your Squeeze They Are Getting Too Fat: That was the subject of an email from one of my friends this week. I told him not to say a word unless he wanted to end up dead… Your best chance is to get caught looking at fitter flights of fancy.
Sofia Vergaraâ€™s Son â€“ Speaking of fitter flights of fancy… No matter how bad I felt about my childhood and teenage years, I am glad I am not Manolo Vergara. Unfortunately for Manolo he is 16 and this is his mom. Apparently none of his friends have can come to his house. His Idea!!
P.s… I cannot believe that Burt Blyleven fell 5 votes short. It should have been by eleven. Grote’s Gripes, tomorrow.