NHL Trophies: Useless Hardware For The Top Shelf?

Does NHL really need to give 1 guy 4 trophies?

ST. LOUIS, MO – Come the end of March most people in this great country are only concerned with Opening Day.  For a select few of us puck heads, April is just the beginning.  I personally am caught in a conundrum.  My Blue Notes are on pace to win the coveted Presidents Trophy.  The only problem is that the Presidents Trophy is like the kiss of death.  It generally means you will wet the bed in the playoffs and leave your entire fan base woefully acting like Cubs fans shortly after the Bartman Incident.  Equally as frustrating is the rest of the NHL award season.  It seams that the NHL feels it should make up for its lack of advertising revenue with way too many awards. So, let’s take a look at them and who I think should win awards this year.

Lady Byng Memorial Trophy: Awarded to the player who exhibited outstanding sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct combined with a high standard of playing ability.  Without a doubt, this goes to Brandon Prust of the New york Rangers.  He leads the league in major penalties.  That is what gentlemanly conduct in hockey is, right?

Frank Selke Memorial Trophy: Awarded to the forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game.  Wait a second… there is an award for a guy who arguably doesn’t do his own job well but he can do something else better?  This is like saying that David Wright E5 is the best DH that happened to play third base.  I love hockey but this award takes it too far.

Maurice ‘Rocket’ Richard Trophy: Awarded to the top goal scorer. Well Maurice, it’s not about how many nets you hit it’s about how well you hit them.  Judging by your nickname, you were able to bag quite a few nets because you were really quick to blast off.  This is fitting though, since  Steven Stamkos is in line to win.  There are a lot of nets in Tampa and I don’t blame him for trying to score on them all.

NHL General Manager of the year: No screwing around here, Ken Hitchcock is far and away the winner.  Lets go Blues!

Vezina Trophy: Best overall goalkeeper.  This without a doubt goes to the Trojan condom.  This trusty friend has been stopping shots since before anyone in the league was born.  No one can beat a 99% save percentage and if it wasn’t for Trojan, this season then Henrik Lundqvist would be talking to Antonio Cromartie’s lawyer.

Chuck Norris Memorial Trophy: Given to the best defenseman.  This without a doubt has to go to Red Wings forward Henrik Zetterberg.  He may not be a defenseman on this ice but off the ice he has to keep his guns up because every man, boy and some women are going after his wife Emma Anderrson.

Its hard to keep attackers out of this zone

And last but not least…

Hart Memorial Trophy: Given to the MVP.  Sidney Crosby.  Its pretty obvious that The Kid is the Tiger Woods of hockey.  He doesn’t have to play, his team doesn’t have to win anything because he sells jerseys and his name evokes headline after headline when the sport cant do so itself.

Stay tuned in tomorrow for the “NHL’s best Friday MTM columnist” award winner, Cookie of Cookies Corner.

Ram Rules out….

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About Cam James 119 Articles
Cam James hails from Missouri and is a down-the-line St. Louis fan: Rams, Cards, Blues... Thus his occasional "Ram Rules" column. He hates Kansas basketball, lives in Denver, been a wrestler, dabbled in Ultimate Fighting and plays hardball. Oh, and he's Opie Taylor white.