Grote’s Gripes: Major League Chewing

CONEY ISLAND, NY –  Tomorrow is the annual Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest in Coney Island.  It is one of 80 events hosted annually by Major League Eating, a league run by George SheaIs this a sport?  If you consider darts, billiards and curling a sport then you have to consider these competitors as athletes and these contests as sporting events.  Many of the competitors, who eat an insane amount of food at these events, are in much better shape than your average professional bowler.  The Nathan’s Hot Dog event is the grand daddy of them all in the competitive eating world.  I think most people know about it’s recent history when Japanese native Takeru Kobayashi ate an outrageous 50 hot dogs in 10 minutes back in the early 2000’s.  He held the Yellow Mustard Belt until 2007 when American Joey Chestnut dethroned him by eating 66 hot dogs to his 63.  IN TEN MINUTES. Chestnut later raised the bar to 68 hot dogs at the 2009 event, a record which stands to this day.

Today I’d like to highlight some other Major League Eating records that you may not be aware of.  Bon Appetit.


Brats: 58 Johnsonville Brats in 10 Minutes – After all those brats were eaten, the other children of Johnsonville were much better behaved.
Cow Brains: 57 (17.7 pounds) in 15 minutes – Who says it doesn’t take a lot of brains to be a competitive eater?
Lobster Rolls: 41 Lobster Rolls in 10 minutes – Also passed Wilt Chamberlain for the most tail in 10 minutes with this one.
Rice Balls: 20 pounds rice balls in 30 minutes – I had rice balls once, boy were they painful.

Patrick Bertoletti:
Daredevil Dog

16″ Pizza: 47 Slices Big Apple Pizza in 10 Minutes – That is one slice short of 6 large pies.  Wow.
Cannoli: 32 large cannoli in 6 minutes – Held at the San Gennaro Festival where it is impressive enough to put up with a crowd of guidos for 6 minutes.
Jalapenos: 275 Pickled Jalapeno Peppers in 8 Minutes – I’m sweating just typing this.
Oysters: 39 dozen Acme oysters in 8 minutes – This even impressed the most prolific female porn stars.

Can Even Stomach Yankee Joe

Vienna Sausage: 8.31 lbs Armour Vienna Sausage in 10 MinutesYankee Joe must be excited to hear about a woman who really likes little wieners.
Eggs: 65 Hard Boiled Eggs in 6 minutes, 40 secondsCool Hand Luke proved you could eat 50 eggs but this gal did 15 more in a tenth of the time.
Fruitcake: 4 pounds, 14 1/4 ounces in 10 minutes– A gal who likes small wieners and fruitcakes really must be up Yankee Joe’s alley.

Asparagus: 9.4 lbs Deep Fried Aspargus Spears in 10 minutes – His urine was pumped through tubes to light the fairgrounds for the rest of the evening.
Chili: 2 gallons Beef Chili in 6 minutesSlim Pickens had to step in and stop this one after six minutes proclaiming “I’d say you boys have had enough.
Philly CheeseSteaks: 23 6″ sandwiches in 10 minutes – Much more productive at the plate than any Phillie this year.
Shrimp Wontons: 390 shrimp wontons in 8 minutes – But there was no MSG so I’m sure it was healthy.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Angry Ward, who once ate 7 Gino’s French Bread Pizza’s at Yankee Stadium during Ronan Tynan‘s rendition of God Bless America.

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