NEW YORK, NY – As we continue to reshuffle the MTM rotation as our Staff recoils from an epidemic of injuries (strained hard drives, frozen screens, broken keyboards) that would make Tommy John & the Mets weep, the world of sports keeps offering alley-oops for slam-dunk stories that need covering. These include Chris Mullin, Matt Schaub to the Jets, Benching Lundquist and Signing Lucas Duda. Here’s the skinny:
Chris Mullin: The best basketball coach in New York hasn’t even coached. Ever. But we bet our bottom dollar (that’s all we have) that Christopher Paul Mullin will make Lou Carneseca proud coaching the
Redmen Red Storm of St. John’s. And our faith in Coach Mullin has nothing to do with the fact that we peed next to him at Shea in 1983 or had a beer with him at the White Horse Tavern in the early ’90s. We also had a interesting encounter with his dark-side doppelganger, Vinnie Jones, in Hollywood – back when we were big shot nightclub owners in 2000.
Meet The Matt on the Jets? Will Ryan Fitzpatrick be the only B-List QB in Jets camp this summer? (Geno Smith is a 3rd-stringer on a normal team, sorry Junoir Blaber and fan Johnny Rox). Will Matthew Rutledge Schaub be afflicted with Gang Green? If we were Jets fans, we’d hope so. Thankfully, we’re not.
A King on the Bench? For those of you out there that say the New York Hockey Rangers should start the hot-handed Cameron Talbot in net during Lord Stanley’s tourney – we say you are dumb mother fathers. Talbot has played well but he’s not on the covers of magazines like GQ, doesn’t sail his yacht up the Hudson and doesn’t own a cool little restaurant in the Triangle Below Canal Street that is better known as Tribeca. Henrik Björn Lundqvist does. And he does for good reason. The reason? He’s frogging good – that’s the frogging reason. No knock on Cam The Man, but he’s not The King. Lundquist plays unless he can’t. End of story.
Duda, Where’s My Car? We’ve been banging our fists in indignation over the ill-treatment of one Lucas Christopher Duda for 3 years. First, it was over the nonsense of forcing him to play the outfield. Then it was the bad joke – and awful player talent assessment – that had him playing behind Ike Davis – who will be making fan JG Clancy barf, now that he’s with the A’s. For recent Ike nonsense, read this. But wait, here we are acting as Mets Management has, putting Duda in Davis’ back seat! And we’ve done so just when The Mess are finally seeing the light we’ve been unsuccessfully flashing in Sandy Alderson’s eyes! Sorry, Lukey! But at least now you might get some dough from Fred Wilpon, who absurdly addressed the team yesterday, and recognized you – once and for all – as the team’s starter at 1B. Once they sign you, the lefty Paul Bunyon, we’ll be looking for our… cut.
And there you have it. Please come back tomorrow for Angry Ward, who takes a back seat to no one.