THE STICKS, NY – My lawn looks worse than Chambers Bay Golf Course in Washington state, where the U.S. Open Championship is being held but that’s my fault for being away from home for a little over a month. Before I mow the grass on Monday (impending weather will keep me from doing so sooner), maybe someone out there can get a hold of Eldrick Woods via social media so the golfer formerly known as “Tiger” can get some much needed practice on a challenging course like the current state of my yard. Woods’ career, like my “No Technology Cave Tour,” is over. There were stops in Myrtle Beach, Sarasota, Manalapan, and Staten Island, as I made poor Sunday contributions on MTM. Some of the tour’s highlights are for today’s reading.
Having been described as a “heavy breather“, it’s absolutely unbelievable that until my Sarasota, Florida stop, I had never been to a Hooters establishment. A buddy and I opted for a seat at the bar– equidistant to the kitchen and front door rather than occupying a table to watch Game 5 of the Stanley Cup Finals. There was nothing blocking our view of the waitresses and what I like to call the filet mignon hanging out a little south of those orange shorts. White tank-tops might be Hooters trademark apparell but I’d like to stick a patent and something else on those shorts. Oh yeah, the Blackhawks won the game and the series in six. Not being near a Hooters for the series clincher, I didn’t watch the game or care to. Sigh.
Angry Ward’s Golden State Warriors pulled away from the Cleveland Cavaliers in Game 6 of the NBA Finals to claim their first championship since the Cazzie Russell days of 1975. It’s one thing to have confidence, but to proclaim as LeBron James did that you’re “the greatest basketball player in the world” and will lead your team to a series victory with the likes of Iman Shumpert and J.R. Smith on a squad missing Kyrie Erving and Kevin Love is just plain silly. Leandro Barbosa actually had a productive game to compliment the play of Steph Curry who showed his MVP form in the series’ last two games.
Alex Rodriguez reached milestone hit number 3,000 with a home run on Friday night. Was I the only person rooting for one of reliever Sam Dyson’s inside pitches to hit and break A-Roid’s hand on Thursday night, so he could end the season and maybe a career stuck on 2,999 hits and beast number of 666 dingers? A zero, who wrote a book on “ballhawking” at MLB games, caught the homer and isn’t giving it up. Charming.
So, I saw where there was an investigation into the St. Louis Cardinals hacking into Houston Astros database. The FBI and Justice Department have nothing better to do than get involved with another sports-related cheating scandal? Nice to see our federal tax dollars at work in such a fruitful manner.
I’m done. Happy Father’s Day to all you “Mothers F’ers!” Come back tomorrow for DJ Eberle.