In a few days the Pope will be in NYC speaking several languages, kissing babies heads, and spreading words of peace and how the Catholic church is changing with the times. YAWWWN. Where was g*d when I needed him last week?!? I know Sunday is a day of rest but everybody loves football–even Jesus! For my public (all three of you), 1-3 ain’t gonna cut it and unless Pope Francis had opposite money on my selections there is little explanation for what happened seven days ago. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpP_crkJ01c
The Browns/Jets over was my only winner and went exactly according to plan. Then Saban, I mean, Satan got involved on two of the remaining three games–Tampa Bay soiled themselves and their home field in getting destroyed by Giorgio Moroder or something like that. We had no chance on that one but the other two were solid gold winners. Until…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViN2bRGrBx8
Detroit was rolling to the tune of 21-3 mid way through the second quarter and looked sure to make a genius out of me when I stated the Lions would win outright. The next thirty (30) points would be scored by the Chargers. Of course. G*d’s favorite son, Phillip Rivers, he of the nine children (all with the same woman, naturally) was rewarded for not using contraceptives and being fruitful and multiplying. 404 yards, two touchdowns, and two and a half football periods later the winner turned loser 33-28.
The weekly picks could have been an even 2-2 with an UNDER in the Sunday night game between my Dallas Cowboys and the Gints. HUH? Giants somehow lead 23-20 with five minutes left and driving. A touchdown ices the Cowboys and the UNDER 51.5. Big Blew down to the one-yard line and stall like a 1973 Dodge Dart on the way to Boston. Confusion all around but you can’t tell by looking at Eli Manning because he always has that “did that just happen look”. It did. Field goal Giants. 26-20 with ninety-something seconds for the Cowboys. North Dallas Forty in two plays and ram it in the end zone and down the Giants throat who take it like a junk-hungry nymphomaniac. If you had the UNDER like me, you got fisted in the process. Thanks for the Cowboys victory but sweet Jesus, it’s all about the benjamins.
While I can easily pick a Papal Pigskin Parlay with the Cardinals and Saints, I hardly did any homework in coming up with these selections:
Houston/CAROLINA UNDER 39.5 I can only describe this game thusly: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
Miami sleepwalked to a 17-10 win and cover against the mighty Redskins in D.C. last week. A win is a win especially on the road in the NFL as Miami finds itself on the “road” once again but inside the Sunshine state against Jacksonville. The Jags had trouble scoring just like the Fins but fortunes turn for both offenses and just go OVER 41.5
UNDERDOG Not falling for it! No way! Arizona only laying two points to the Bears in Chicago? Should be about 4.5 and that tells you who Vegas wants you to bet. Looks too good if you’re on the Cardinals, plus the Bears were very game against the Packers last week. CHI TOWN +2 as home dogs.
FAVORITE Give me one reason to watch a Jets game and it begins and ends with gambling. Last week’s Gang Green win over the Browns was a mirage. Andrew Luck goes off with or without T.Y. Hilton. Lay the heavy wood with INDY -7 over New York on a Monday Night home opener.
