EL BARRIO, LA BRONX – So I had surgery this week on my partially torn Achilles. You’d think I would have time to write this piece, what with being laid up in bed the past few days, wouldn’t you? Whenever I’m in need of inspiration I go to the sports “pages” and find the news worthy of the Junny-wah spin. Here’s what caught my eye.
MMA: After getting her ass handed to her in front of the world, Ronda Rousey is back. She is looking for a rematch with Holly Holm in June at UFC 200.
Baseball:
The New York Mets decided that rather than spend big to re-sign Daniel Murphy, they would trade Jon Niese to Pittsburgh for second baseman Neil Walker. The Mets also added shortstop Asdrubal Cabrera to the team via free agency. 
With Niese traded, the Mets’ entire 2016 starting rotation’s payroll will be $8 million! Total! Matt Harvey, Jacob de Grom, Noah Syndergaard, Steven Matz, and Zach Wheeler will earn less combined than Zach Greinke will next year. That means the time to spend some Wilpon dough on a big bat is now – particularly because of last night’s surprise announcement that fan favorite Michael Cuddyer is retiring, who’ll be forfeiting all or most of the $12M salary he had coming. I’m not sure what the “buyout” number is.
Basketball:
The worst team in the NBA (or the ABA, USBL, NCAA, NAIA) is the Philadelphia 76ers. The franchise though, is impressed (new old-school exec Jerry Colangelo has been brought in to end the Sixers’ experiment of failure led by now nominal GM Sam Hinkie) by head coach Brett Brown The Sixers rewarded Brown on Friday with a multi-year contract extension..
Football:
FanDuel and DraftKings are back in business in New York State – at least until the courts reconvene to discuss their fates the first week of January.
The Arizona Cardinals clinched a playoff spot. A healthy Carson Palmer has been the difference for the Cardinals. Arizona is a legit Super Bowl contender. Speaking of laughing stocks, it looks like the Cleveland Browns need an overhaul, again. They are in Year 30 of their 5-year rebuilding plan.
Hockey:
Patrick Kane has put the off-season rape charge he evaded behind him. When he scored on an empty net goal on Tuesday, he extended his scoring streak to 23 games, the second longest NHL point streak this century.
Come back tomorrow for the stylings of Cheesy Bruin…. unless you’re interested in my extended analysis below, of the world’s most popular sport.
Soccer:
In Major League Soccer , New England Revolution midfielder Jermaine Jones has been suspended for the first six Major League Soccer games next season, a penalty that could cause him to miss the United States’ two World Cup qualifiers against Guatemala in March. Apparently, Jones would be eligible for the qualifiers if he transfers to a club in another league and serves the six-game ban before the games on March 25 and 29. Jones got in trouble for his conduct toward referee Mark Geiger during second-half stoppage time in a playoff game against D.C. United on Oct. 28. With the Revolution trailing 2-1, Jones brought down a long ball in the penalty area and with his left foot touched the ball toward the arm of United defender Sean Franklin. Geiger declined to call a penalty kick. Jones sprinted toward Geiger and was given a yellow card for dissent, then pushed Geiger in the chest and received a red card. MLS Commissioner Don Garber heard an appeal by the MLS Players Union and upheld the six-game suspension. Under MLS and U.S. Soccer Federation policy, the 34-year-old midfielder is ineligible to play in any soccer competition while serving the penalty. This is the same Geiger that reffed the worst game of soccer ever as he blew calling a penalty against Mexico and then awarded two horrible calls for Mexico for Mexico to win the Gold Cup.
My beloved Manchester United were knocked out of the European Champions League this week. I am happy that team attacked for once but the injury toll to their defense had a negative effect which could not be overcame.
That’s all. If you’re not snoozing after the Soccer stuff, please leave a comment below and as mentioned above, come back for the Cheese Man manana.
