Grinding Ax Edition: Soccer, Football and Spelling Bees?

Eli Manning

Will Ferrell,, Soccer, Mets, Labor Day COLTS NECK, NJ As I said to Short Matt when summoned to write something for the Saturday during Labor Day Weekend, “Writing a column for Saturday is like singing the National Anthem for a Mets game. Nobody is listening!”  That said, I hope you both enjoy my freestyle offering.

USA Men’s Soccer:  Once again, The USA Men’s Soccer Team is  embarrassed by a tiny country.  Costa Rica blanked our national team 2-0 behind another forgettable effort by eleven candy-ass kickers. Clint Dempsey and Jozy Altidore spent more time diving than trying to kick the ball. Perhaps coach Bruce (Baba Booey) Arena should arrange a scrimmage versus our women’s squad to teach these foot fairies some toughness.  Game in and game out, they get pushed around by four foot tall Incas. Pathetic!

” Effete “

Rutgers Scarlet Knights Football-  The Chris Ash Era began last season with a program in shambles, wallowing in controversy and shame left by the flood, Kyle Flood.  That low life was way over his mental capacity, so he chose to recruit criminals.  Ash is using some creative recruiting himself, picking up graduate players from various programs in an attempt to slow the bleeding.  The Ohio State former assistant realizes that results are what matters and the Rutgers Athletic Department needs to pay for that nifty new hot tub in the student section. Perhaps this will draw a few more campus fans who may actually understand the game of football. Don’t get me wrong, the student body at RU is very familiar with ESPN.  The Scrips Scripps National Spelling Bee airs on most televisions on campus every Spring.  Beyond that? Well, let’s just say that you can draw more of an interest with a cricket match in High Point Solutions Stadium.    

Don’t drop the…football

Giants vs Cowboys-  This is always a ratings bonanza for the NFL, as division rivals square off on national television. The Cowboys lead the series 62-46 with two ties. Most prognosticators are picking the Giants to win the Eastern Division while Dallas struggles with multiple suspensions on defense along with the six game punishment for Ezekiel Elliott.  With a stingy defensive side and a star studded receiving corps, Eli Manning should not have ANY trouble shredding up the weak Cowboys rush and secondary. I mean, you would really be a choke not to win this one! Right?  After a shakey pre season by the Giants offensive line, pressure is on Manning to get the ball to his horses. If not, the fans may just be chanting these words…….Geno….Geno…Geno! 

Eli Manning, Giants, Cowboys
Take you helmet off when you talk to me, Mother F**ker!

Chime in with your usual conjectures and come back tomorrow for the other Cowboys fan, Cheesy Bruin.

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About GrindingAx 135 Articles
"Grinding Ax" Walter Hynes (GAW) comes from the same Sports Royalty bloodlines as Short Matt... He's heaving hatchets off the heads of any deserving Sports Personalities... His favorite teams are the NY Rangers, Detroit Tigers, Dallas Cowboys, NY Jets and Manchester United... A suburban husband and father of two, Walter understands what it takes to be a second-guessing, sideline-heckling parent and coach.