Stamford, CT: I caught a little of the brilliant 1992 Keith Hernandez episode on Seinfield. It made me wonder what other athletes would be good candidates to make cameos on popular TV shows. Let’s see where this goes.
Big Bang Theory – Brad “The Rat” Marchand: Who would fit in better with a bunch of immature adults that a guy who licks faces? Have him lick Sheldon’s face and the rest will write itself.
Game of Thrones – Sergio Romo: The Rays closer is starting games. Like GoT, a lot of people are talking about it but it doesn’t quite make sense.
Homeland – Odell Beckham Jr.: I like Homeland but I’m always amazed they keep putting Carrie in calamitous situations when she NEVER follows orders. Odell is playing the part of good soldier now, let’s see if he can get his career back on track or if he continues to be his worst enemy.
Modern Family – Antonio Cromartie: The man just had his fourteenth kid, including three after his 2013 vasectomy. Cromartie is either the most virile human on the planet or someone needs to keep an eye on his wife. According to some hasty Googling, there are at least 8 mothers and he was paying $336,000 per year in child support back when he only had 12 kids. He’s gonna be broke in no time unless he donates his nuts to science.
Sesame Street – Marc-Andre Fleury: Who would fit in better with Tickle Me Elmo that the man who likes to tickle guys behind the ears on the ice. It’s not licking a guy’s face, but it’s still weird. Fleury will have more Cups than Sidney Crosby if the Golden Knights can get four more wins.
The Walking Dead – Matt Harvey: A few short years ago, Harvey was partying with supermodels. He just got traded for a catcher with a 2018 WAR of 0.2. That means he just barely better than a guy in triple A. Like the ratings for the WD, the Dark Knight is not rising.
Stranger Things – Bartolo Colon: Is that Colon’s son plunking Yankees superstar Gleyber Torres after a moon shot? What? Bartolo is still playing? Oh look, Greyber just hit another one. off him. Hang ’em up, Tubby.
Lucifer – Bill Belichick: BB is just a terrible human being. Even the greatest QB of all time gets disrespected enough to miss OTAs. This could be the worst ending for a dynasty since The Tang, when former salt smuggler Zhu Wen killed the emperor and took the throne for himself.