LOS ANGELES, CA – We’re not here. We’re in NYC and by “we,” I mean me, the wife and dog. It’s dark longer, it’s colder and the sports scene is awful – outside of rugby, which many of you need to embrace. But back to LA. and it’s relevance here. The St. Louis Rams of Los Angeles are 7-0, you say. Yes, but we’re not interested. How about those Brooklyn Dodgers of Chavez Ravine being in the World Series? Ha! What, Hades didn’t offer a good enough deal, O’Malley? Bite me. How about LeBron (whose name is spelled incorrectly by Ben Whitney every Tuesday) and Showtime? To quote Cookie’s Corner: “Pfft.” What’s interesting then, you ask as your frustration pops from your pupils? How any or all of our headliners: Steve Kerr, Diva Odell, Barney Fife Blueshirts, Insufferable Red Sox Fans
Steve Kerr For President: His (and Angry Ward’s) Golden State Warriors are on the warpath in the Big Apple. This ain’t Oakland. It’s got distractions galore. And the Knicks and Nets would love nothing more than to scalp Chief Curry & Co., after all, they’ve got 3 championships in last 4 years (not sure of that and too lazy to check). So what does Coach K (the cool one), tell his tribe?
“They should go out and enjoy the nightlife. And then they should play well.”
Jumping Jehosaphat! Has he gone bonkers?! That’s like handing an arson some kindling, gasoline and a blow torch, no?! Well yeah, if Michael Ray Richardson and Lawrence Taylor were on the team. But these guys are more interested in winning, and you can read their responses by clicking this. It’s probably why they’re winners. I like winners. Steve Kerr for POTUS.
Barney Fife’s Blueshirts: Small-town life suited Barney Fife well. He worked with “The Sheriff Without A Gun” in Andy Taylor. Barney carried a gun, but it was empty. He had one bullet in is shirt pocket – enough for one shot. The NY Rangers had ONE SHOT in the third period last night in their loss to the Blackhawks. One shot. One. They are Barney Fife personified. Harmless, silly and fumbling.
Insufferable Red Sox Fans: Jesus, Mary and Joseph, do we really have to choose between the L.A. Sinners (see Hades refrence above) and Boston Massholes? Do you have any idea how much more douchey Ben and Casey Afleck will be if their Sawx win? The Red Sox are a likeable team. Their Manager was a gamer and skippers well. But their fans? Oy. Vey. Nearly as bad as Yankees fans or Eagles fans. Nearly.
Fast forward to the :43 second mark.
Diva Odell: Oh boy, it sure looks like the New York Football Giants off-season gambling has turned to craps. Rolling the dice on Eli’s engine, bypassing Josh Allen or any other pick and giving the house money to Odell Beckham, Jr., has been a disaster. Beckham is the new Terrell Owens, just shorter. He’s fighting every minute to say the right things but there are cracks. And once that NFL wacky wide-receiver dam cracks. there is no fingering that dyke back to normal. Trade everybody for picks. Let Manning get pummeled for two years and raise a QB on the bench for 3. Bid Beckham goodbye. He is from Los Angles, after all, which ties all of this into our opening… What fun!
That’s all for now, please opine below and come back tomorrow for a man that’s never been a coxswain, Junoir Blaber.