Angry Ward Wednesday: Jets Kid, Giants Crud, and Finding Fun in College Football

Zach Knows... what that feels like!

BRONX, NY – Thanks to my generous Monday and Tuesday colleagues, this Wednesday I’m afforded the luxury of yammering on about football to my heart’s content. Thanks, Lads! This saves me the trouble of writing a hit piece on Andrew Wiggins and Kyrie Irving or an “In Memoriam” for the 2021 Mets or (if it were up to my brother) a nostalgic look back Spencer Ross covering harness racing from Roosevelt Raceway. Anyway, there’s plenty going on in both college and the NFL right now, so let’s get to it.

The New York Zach Exchange? So far, New York Jets wunderkind quarterback Zach Wilson has been conjuring memories of Broadway Joe… with his innate ability to find open defenders. It’s way too early to give up on him, which is what the Jets usually do, but steps do need to be taken to make the kid who looks like football Bob’s Big Boy more New York tough. It’s fairly drastic, but they may want to try turning this squeaky clean BYU product into a sometimes-concussed mouthy alcoholic. Hey, it worked for Jim McMahon! Otherwise, Gang Green looks like they’re stuck with a Boy Band Detmer.

“Interceptions, coming up!”

Fun Times Rooting Against “The U” and Clemson. When all else fails in college football, as it often does, you can always find solace rooting against teams you DON’T like. That’s happening this year with me and the Miami Hurricanes and Clemson Tigers. I’ll get to Miami in a second, because they’re a whole mixed bag of fun. I don’t like Clemson because I really don’t like their coach, Dabo Swinney. It didn’t used to be this way. I liked Clemson when they were beating Nick Saban and Alabama, but then Swinney (whose name sounds like Boss Hogg’s cousin on The Dukes of Hazzard) quickly became as contemptible as Saban. So I loved when they lost to NC State last week. They’re done for 2021, but I’ll continue to schadenfreude follow them. Miami brings me even greater joy because I know three brothers (all from South Florida, none who attended Miami) who consider Miami football “a way of life.” So far Miami has gotten trounced by Alabama (I kept my mouth shut), barely beat pigskin juggernaut Appalachian State at home by 2, got crushed by Michigan State at home, and last week took it all out on—wait for it—Central Connecticut State at home to the tune of 69-0. I mean, Central Connecticut State? Seriously? What’s their team nickname, The Fighting Accountants? The once mighty Hurricanes have been downgraded to a tropical depression, that shows no signs of going anywhere. Yay!

New York Giants. I want to preface this by saying that I actually like the New York Giants and was a longtime season ticket holder, until I came to my senses. Phil Simms has recently taken to defending owner John Mara against fan criticism, and that’s fine by me too. But the Giants do have a leadership problem from the GM on down. This season is already tagged and bagged, but the Jints can’t come back next year with the holy trinity of GM/Used Car Salesman Dave Gettleman, Joe Judge whose coaching philosophy begins and ends with “we’re gonna punch you in the mouth for 60 minutes,” and  Offensive Coordinator Jason Garrett, who most people might mistake for a Hefty Bag full of rancid potato salad.

Columbia Lions. I’m already running a little long but did want to mention that, after a one year hiatus, I am happy the the Columbia University Lions are once again playing games at Baker Field in Northern Manhattan’s Inwood neighborhood. They’re currently 2-0 and may not win another game, but it’s a pretty okay way to pass a Saturday afternoon. Holy crap! I just looked at their schedule and they play at University of Miami nemesis Central Connecticut State in two weeks. So, wait, does this mean the U could one day play at Columbia? Ha! In any event, looking forward to their next home game vs. Penn in mid-October. Need to explain things to those lousy Quakers.

Done for today. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, whose Jalen Hurts but is still keeping up with the Yanks.

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About Angry Ward 742 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.