Angry Ward Wednesday: NBA Season Opens, NFL Teams Fishing for Treasure in the Trash Heap, and The Yanks Win

BRONX, NY – I’m writing this on the eve of the NBA season tipping off, the NFL season in full swing, and the Yankees and Guardians finishing off their divisional series in the Bronx. Seems like no shortage of things to write about, but I’d instead like to talk to you about the Medicare Coverage Helpline. Just kidding, I’ll leave the garbage-scamming of senior citizens to the seasoned professionals, like Joe Namath and Jimmie “J.J.” Walker. Let’s get to the other stuff.

NBA Season Preview. Here’s the main takeaway for most MTM readers: The Knicks are not going to win it all, but neither are 29 other teams. As far as I’m concerned with last team standing this year, it’s ABB… Anyone But Brooklyn. I don’t want to see the Lakers make a run either, but I’m not all that worried about them. I do think they’ll cover against my Warriors tonight—maybe even win outright—but they won’t have the horses to keep up with younger, better teams in both conferences. For the hell of it, let’s say it will be Milwaukee in the East and the Nuggets out West, with Denver winning it all. Who am I kidding? One more for the Warriors! LFG!

NFL Dumpster Diving Season is Upon Us. As Ben Whitney covered a bit here yesterday, this NFL season is already shaping up as a disorganized doozy. Among teams already grasping at discarded straws are the Cardinals, who actually traded for Robbie Anderson—when it appeared he and his belongings would be readily available on the nearest Charlotte curb by sundown—and the Ravens, who just signed DeSean Jackson, who I’m convinced has been playing in the NFL since its inception. He’s like a pro football version of The Shining’s Jack Torrance, but faster and with head protection. Meanwhile, Carolina is also maybe shopping Christian McCaffrey, but what kind of offer you get on white running back that’s always injured is anybody’s guess. Still, better than the Rams trying to find a trade partner for Cam Akers, as if there’s a Cam Akers market. Finally, it appears Tom Brady will stick the landing and end both his career and his marriage simultaneously and in spectacular car-wreck fashion. There’s a reason he’s the GOAT. Take that, Elway!

Yankees Win. Finally I get a chance to appear slightly current here. The New York Yankees beat the Cleveland Guardians 5-1 last night to advance to the ALCS. They now get to face the Houston Astros, who probably will forgo banging on a garbage can, and instead try to bang the Yankees over a garbage can. It should be a fun series, with both Aaron Judge and Yordan Alvarez seeing almost nothing to hit, Josh Donaldson doing douchey things, and hopefully an exhibition game between the Bad News Bears and the Houston Toros. Seriously though, Houston is good. If the Yankees beat them, they will have truly earned that trip to the World Series… but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

All righty, I’m done. Come back tomorrow for eternal Knicks optimist Buddy Diaz, even though Dolan banned him from The Garden five years ago.

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About Angry Ward 742 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.