Angry Ward Wednesday: Giving Thanks for the Vikes, Jax, Family, and Even the Cowboys

Justin Jefferson, Anthony "Paul" Rizzo

BRONX, NY – We are a little over a week away from Thanksgiving, and I’m still trying to figure out how THAT happened. Sweet Potato Jesus, time is flying by! Anyway, it’s never too early to start giving thanks, so let’s start setting the table for the real thing and point out a few people and things I’m grateful for.

The Minnesota VikingsThe Vikings are currently 8-1 and, as weak as their early schedule has been, no one saw this coming. I was watching incredible game up in Buffalo last Sunday and was so entertained by how the Bills got dragged into an affair with so much Vikingsness, I really almost didn’t care who won. If you’re a longtime Vikes fan like me, you already come with the factory-installed sense of dread. So, whether they manage to keep winning enough to make the playoffs (and then lose there immediately, of course) or author their most epic Vikings collapse to date and miss the post-season, I’ll be ready for it all… and hopefully it will be fun. Just please hold on to Justin Jefferson long enough to get him a pretty good quarterback. That’s not asking too much.

Bachman Cheese Jax. The best damn cheese snack on the market. I actually can’t believe they’re still around. People actually name their kids Jax now, which is stupid, unless they are naming them after these deliciously cheesy curls, in which case they are parental geniuses.

My Immediate Family. This includes my wife and daughter, as well as my brother, all of whom have been putting up with my attitude issues for far too long. To call me moody would be a massive understatement. I’m like the Draymond Green of my family, but without all the cash and championship hardware. You guys, and this goes for some long-haul friends too, are far too patient and kind. Thanks.

The Dallas Cowboys. Everyone needs a villain in their sports lives, and the Cowboys have been mine for as long as I can remember. Only a team like the Cowboys could have me rooting for a Green Bay team with Aaron “I’m Doing a Good Job of Not Punching You in the Face” Rodgers this past Sunday. How much do I despise the Cowboys? If the Cowboys played the Yankees, I’d have to go for the Yankees… and then afterwards cleanse myself in an active volcano.

JG Clancy

New York During the Lead-Up to ChristmasThe leaves have changed, the temps have dropped, the Rockefeller Center Tree is already in town, if you ask me there’s nothing better than this time of year in New York City. Sure there are more people, but that’s only because they too are drawn to this scene. If only there were more days in the week and more time and more money to meet friends for even more dinners out.

Meet The Matts. Ha! Just seeing if you’re still paying attention. Though I fully expect Management to bust out the JG Clancy Elf photo for umpteenth time any day now… probably today, actually.

Knicks Fans. Always make me smile and feel somewhat better about some of the teams I choose to root for.

Old Movies. Sometimes it’s good to take a break from sports and slip into a comfortable old film favorite on a chilly, rainy autumn evening… and that’s just what I’m gonna do.

Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, whose Eagles are no longer undefeated, but whose Yankees are re-signing Anthony Rizzo. Or is it Paul?

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About Angry Ward 747 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.