COLORADO SPRINGS, CO – With the NHL Playoffs, NBA Playoffs, #MLB season and even – dare I say Major League Rugby – pulling many/some of you sports entertainment gluttons in different directions, there’s a lot to talk about. Indeed, you have no time for my usual bullshlt, so let’s stop bullshlting and get to today’s shlt: College Savior Deion Sanders, Rangers Gag, Max Scherzer Guilty, Major League Rugby.
College Savior Deion Sanders
47,000 fans attended a college football game yesterday. No big deal, right? Wrong. It actually was a big deal, considering what your definition of a college football game is. This was the annual spring game at University of Colorado Boulder. (NOTE: There is no punctuation between the words Colorado and Boulder). Anywho, it was just a glorified scrimmage and yet 47,000 people came to see it. Why? Because of Deion Sanders. Wearing a white cowboy hat, the newly named head coach, who recently transformed Jackson State into a decent football team, is now in charge of the Buffaloes. Along with his swagger, he also brought his star quarterback son Shedeur (Biblical name meaning field of light, light of the Almighty) with him. Sure, that pretty much undoes everything he/they did at Jackson State, but that’s the cruel nature of big time college sports. Anyway, Neon Deion is now the fixer of failing, underachieving, or nonexistent college football programs. Not sold? Put this tidbit in your pipe and smoke it: The attendance yesterday was more than all previous spring games combined. Are you listening Rutgers? If he can do it in Mississippi and Colorado, he can certainly do it in New Brunswick NJ. Pry Coach Prime away as soon as you can and bring some real excitement to the not-so-Scarlet Knights. CLICK TO READ MORE.
Rangers Gag
Like many of you out there, I saw the New Jersey Devils play ice hockey for the first time this year… last night. They were playing against the New York Rangers the hockey club for whom I root. A few observations:
Observation #1: Mark Messier looked as uncomfortable and stiff as a human being could possibly look around PK Subban. Hey Mess, Subban is trying to bring some levity and fun to an unnecessarily staid sports desk show. Kudos to him for trying – and even donning his Burger King outfit in the process.
Observation #2: the Rangers wrestled a loss from the jaws of victory. They absolutely gagged. They took chunks of the game off when it should have been time to put the foot on the throat of the young, skinny and average-sized teenage Devils. They simply needed to shoot the puck more when they had it and pepper the goalie – whose name everybody pronounced differently. By the way, Akira Schmid is 22 years-old, not a pimply-faced 19. That’s not young in the NHL anymore. The shltty ABC/ESPN/Disney broadcast team needs to stop talking about how young he is. Schmid is Swedish and very well-versed in ice hockey.
Observation #3: Is it too early to be zooming in on Anthony Volpe at a Rangers or Knicks game? Beware the Ides of Matt Harvey, Anthony. He was all over the place and nude on Sports Illustrated’s cover in the span of a year and out of New York not long after. Tony, this is not to say you shouldn’t go to MSG or that you’re anything like Harvey… it’s just sayin’ you should take it slow.
Max Scherzer Guilty
Both on the field and after the now infamous incident in which Scherzer was ejected for having some type of spooge on his hands, Mad Max swore on his kids’ lives that he wasn’t cheating. Yet, he dropped his appeal re the imposed 10-game suspension. 
Now, I’m no Sherlock Holmes but the clues lead one to deduce that something doesn’t add up. Shouldn’t he be fighting this thing tooth-and-nail?! He swore on his kids’ lives, for Pete’s sake! This development leads yours truly to one conclusion: Max Scherzer is a douche. He cheated – which I am okay with – but then brought his kids into this – which I’m not okay with. This all could have been avoided, though, if the fruckin league would just go back to allowing players to police themselves. Let them throw at a each other again. They all know everything about every guy out there. If they don’t throw at a suspected culprit, it’s likely because their guy is doing it, too. Stop babying players and obsessing about the wrong stuff. Google Gaylord Perry, kids. He wrote a book about cheating and when umps routinely frisked him, it was some of the most entertaining stuff in sports… and beyond.
Major League Rugby
Yes, I’m still schilling this…
