The Fall of MLB: An ANAL-lytical Shame

LB, Rob Manfred, Yankees, Mets, Meet-The-Matts, Aris Sakellaridis, Mugsy, Google Alerts, #MeetTheMatts #GoogleAlerts

NEW YORK, NY – As this summer quickly comes to an end, the verdict is in; the game of baseball is in trouble. The MLB game is being reflected on the amateur level, as the youth of today are clueless on how to play the game properly. It has, unfortunately, turned into a skills competition. America’s pastime has no one to blame but itself.

I just finished “coaching” a bunch of uncoachable youngsters, whose main concern was their velocity and their exit velocity – if and when they eventually connected the bat with the ball.

The blame goes entirely to the owners who hire these total analytic geeks. These are geeks who don’t know the difference between Tony Gwynn and Fred GwynnPete Rose and Amber Rose, etc, etc… Not only do these young athletes swing erratically and throw like they are trying to put the ball through a wall, but their knowledge of the past greats is zilch.

They don’t watch the games on TV, they don’t have a clue of what channel the MLB Network is on, and they don’t know the names Hank Aaron, Ted Williams, Lou Gehrig or even Don Mattingly.

They have given in to the bullsh*t of strikeouts not mattering, and neither does a batting average to them. They uppercut every ball, hoping it goes over the fence. They throw every pitch like they can get strike three on it.

Aristostle “Mugsy” Sakellaridis

The results of this summer youth team accounted for zero home runs, a batting average under .220, and an average of 12 walks per game given up by our pitching staff.

The sad part is that their theory that scouts only care about velocity and long balls… is true. They fail to realize, however, that most scouts today played baseball on a Little League level only – if that.

To those anal-lytic employees who don’t believe in productive outs, when one moves the train 90 feet: take your laptops and shove them up your anal-lytic cavity! Then take a bow for ruining this once great game that has no hope of getting corrected anytime soon.

Your mission has been accomplished, the next generation is drinking your Kool-Aid.

Share Button
About Aristotle "Mugsy" Sakellaridis 113 Articles
Aristotle "Mugsy" Sakellaridis is the junkiest of baseball junkies. He plays in 4 leagues, well past his 40th birthday, and spends the winter in Florida shagging flies at Yankees minor league complexes. He's also a retired Riker's Island Corrrection Officer - having worked the night shift for 20+ years.