Angry Ward: Random NFL Thoughts on Bears, Giants, Cowboys and Others

NFL: Deshaun Watson, Daniel Jones, have Tanner Boyle's back.
NFL: Deshaun Watson, Daniel Jones, have Tanner Boyle's back.

NEW YORK, NY – As I sit writing this on Tuesday afternoon, welcome one and all to the The Big Apple Pie. New York, and much of the country, has been in the oven for days now. It’s not exactly pleasant. I’ll say this, if these aren’t the dog days of summer, I’d really rather not see what are. Funny thing is, even with the temps and humidity soaring, a lot of the sports talk these days is starting to focus on football. I haven’t been paying much attention to any of it, but I won’t let that stop me from sharing my thoughts on a few NFL teams. Let’s grab a nice glass of ice water and get into it: Random NFL Thoughts on Bears, Giants, Cowboys and Others.

Chicago Bears. Oh baby, are people excited about the Chicago Bears this season. They have a brand new quarterback in Caleb Williams, a revamped receiving corps with veteran Keenan Allen and rookie Rome Odunze joining D.J. Moore, and a solid returning defense. But, let’s get back to QB. The Chicago Bears have not had a truly good quarterback in my entire time on this planet… and I’m pretty frickin’ old! If Williams is remotely good, he will skyrocket to the very top of the list… and it’s a list of one occupied by Sid Luckman. How can an organization be around this long, win a Super Bowl, and not be able to even stumble into a capable QB? Remember Jim McMahon, the punky QB? In his career he never passed for 2,400 yards in a season. I could go on and on about names like Bob Avellini and Vince Evans and Erik Kramer, but we need to move on.

New York Giants. Apparently Daniel Jones started a fight during a joint practice with the Detroit Lions on Monday. No word on whether this was precipitated by someone biting his kneecap off, but that really doesn’t matter. It’s not Tanner Boyle taking on the entire 7th Grade, but Jones showing any fight or signs of human personality of any kind, is a welcome development for a team needing leadership.

Kansas City Chiefs. God and the Kansas City Chiefs (in that order) have blessed kicker Harrison Butker with a $25.6 million contract extension. That’s enough money to keep his wife in the kitchen and his daughter out of college—or any sort of career—for years to come.

Dallas Cowboys. I saw some kind of Instagram post recently that broke NFL coaches down into categories and I believe it had Cowboys HC Mike McCarthy ranked among the “Very Good.” That really made me LOL. If nothing else, the Cowboys are a constant wellspring of unintentional comedy. I can’t wait to see what happens next with the unending contract drama surrounding Rayne Dakota Prescott and Cedarian DeLeon Lamb. Yee haw!

New York Jets. As they used to say on the old Password Plus gameshow: I’m gonna pass.

Atlanta Falcons. There’s a pretty good amount of talent on this team… and then there’s Kirk Cousins. I predict he’ll start out hot, get some people excited, and then settle into mediocrity. Expect “Penix!” chants by late October/early November.

Cleveland Browns. Liked this team a whole lot more when Joe Flacco came out of nowhere to light it up at the end of last season. Also like them more with a healthy Nick Chubb. Don’t like Deshaun Watson, though.

Los Angeles Rams. It seems like Matthew Stafford has been in the league for 2+ decades already. How is he still playing? Also, I thought Sean McVay was some sort of genius. How does he allow Jimmy Garoppolo to be his backup QB?

Eh, I’m rambling. It’s the heat. Time to rotate on out of here and maybe watch some baseball tonight. Come back tomorrow for the dawning of a new Diaz… Buddy Diaz.

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About Angry Ward 766 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.