“I like this one. One dog goes one way and the other goes the other way. And this guy’s sayin’, ‘whaddya you want from me?’” Tommy DeVito, Goodfellas.
Stamford, CT: It’s a tale of two teams, the Cleveland Browns and the New York Knicks. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse for the Browns, the story breaks of a colossal trade screw up. In contrast we have the Knicks. After an eternity of spinning wheels, they suddenly seem to be pulling themselves out of the mud.
Boggling Browns Bumbling
Mystery, is what this is to me
I’m giving up, I’m having no luck
-Black Keys
The Browns’ drunken hunt for their franchise QB contiues. The Browns are like the guy or girl who has had really bad luck in the dating pool and keeps ending up with weirdos. They’re jaded, finding little flaws in potential dates and making excuses out of fear of getting burned again. The Browns can’t bring themselves to take a QB early again because they have been crushed time and again by a murderer’s row of busts, including; Tim Couch, Brady Quinn, Brandon Weeden, and Money Manziel.
I’d like to hear some audio of Browns’ personnel people talking down franchise QBs like Desean Watson, Jared Goff, and Carson Wentz before their drafts. Desean Watson? The big game heroics, fantastic arm, mobility, and national championships are nice, but he won’t be able to make the transition to the NFL.
And in spite of having draft picks to burn, the Browns weren’t able to pull off a deal for Jimmy Garoppolo. They couldn’t beat a second round pick? And when they finally did work something out and strike a deal to acquire A.J. McCarron, who played well in limited work in 2015 subbing for the Red Rifle, they found a mind blowing way to screw it up.
In case you missed it, the trade was consummated minutes before the deadline. The Browns sent the paperwork to the Bengals. But since the email came from a person within the Browns’ organization who was unfamiliar to the Bengals, they missed the email. The Bengals sent their paperwork to the NFL, but the league never received anything from the Browns. No trade. The Browns apparently counted on the Bengals to forward their paperwork to the league. Had the Browns simply copied the league on their email to the Bengals, the trade would have gone through. The Browns also didn’t bother to call the league to verify, as any third rate franchise would have. Even my dog Chief knows to follow up with a call for something this important. Eh, it’s only a QB, we’ll get someone else. A.J. and Jimmy, you dodged a bullet.
Consider me confounded. How has the entire front office not been fired? I know it’s a pain to start over again, but this was beyond ridiculous. They were drinking champagne, celebrating the deal. The Browns would be better off if they just watched ESPN during the draft and took Mel Kiper’s “best player available.” And Mel Kiper’s an idiot. I can’t take it and I don’t have skin in the game – imagine being a Browns’ fan.
Knicks Returning to Competence
I made it through the darkest part of the night
And now I see the sunrise
I feel glorious, glorious
-Macklemore
I was flipping through the channels the other night and I caught a bit of the Knicks’ game. To my surprise, Kyle O’Quinn hustled back on defense and rejected a layup from behind. The Knicks got the ball and got it to Kristaps Porzingis in the post, who was double teamed immediately. But instead of keeping the ball and taking a low percentage fade away, like his mentor Carmelo Anthony did 12,947 times in his tenure with the Knicks, Porzingis kicked it back out. The Knicks whipped it around the perimeter to the open man, someone named Doug McDermott, who drained a three. I was confused for a few minutes, trying to make sense of what I was seeing. Then it hit me like a Carmelo brick – these were the actions of a competent basketball team.
I can’t wait until the Knicks become a contender and people start giving credit to Phil Jackson. You know, he drafted Porzingis and Frank Ntilikina and really put the foundation in place. I know I’m getting ahead of myself, but it’s coming.
Apart from looking like an injury waiting to happen, The Zinger looks like a star. For the first time in a while, I’ve got a little Knicks Boner. Er, I don’t mean little. I just mean it’s not all the way there yet, we’re only a few games in to the season. You know what I mean. Anyway, it’s the first one I’ve had since Larry Johnson’s four point play back in 1999. Things are looking up.
Come back tomorrow for Angry Ward, if you can forgive him for last week’s fake out. You can follow us on Twitter at @benwhit, @MeetTheMatts, @Matt_McCarthy00, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matts.
