Tag: Snickers

A Renaissance Unlike Any Other: Crazy Cardinals Fan Snaps, Weed at Rockies Games, Vonn Nude

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“In this defunct microcosm, eerily similar to the DPRK, the Broncos are the army and John Elway is the peoples’ Dear Leader.” –Cam James MILE HIGH CLUB, CO – When I was just a young boy, I had a baseball coach who liked to use metaphors to explain life lessons.  Generally these lessons were often […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Brady’s Jersey and Betsy DeVos Answers Your Sports Questions

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BRONX, NY – Back from Florida, where I barely survived four days of trying to kill myself with rum and gambling and mammoth hamburgers and more rum. On Tuesday, Betsy DeVos was confirmed by the Senate as this country’s new Secretary of Education as Mike Pence, still in his medically-induced coma, blinked twice to cast […]

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Lastest Stains on Sports: Tennis Cheats, McDonagh Concussions, Knicks Futility, Peyton

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COUSIN HUG, NJ – March Madness and St. Paddy’s Day are still almost a month away but that hasn’t stopped me from having the recurring dream of a jovial, bat-wielding leprechaun. Maybe it has something to do with Pitchers -n- Catchers reporting or Daniel Murphy leaving the Mets and their Irish fan base. Either way, […]

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WIN INTERLEAGUE TIX: PLAY OUR GAME! WOW!

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EUREKA, KS – We recently sat -for countless hours – with Marv Levy, his 4-time loser Buffalo Bills and some Snickers Bars, trying to accommodate two needs: A) Two of you going to an Interleague Game with $50 W.A.M. (Walkin’ Around Money) on us and… B) MTM getting hit more, leading to Advertising $$$, leading […]

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