Lastest Stains on Sports: Tennis Cheats, McDonagh Concussions, Knicks Futility, Peyton

Angry_Ward Leprechaun Meet_The_Matts
Tennis Cheats?!

COUSIN HUG, NJMarch Madness and St. Paddy’s Day are still almost a month away but that hasn’t stopped me from having the recurring dream of a jovial, bat-wielding leprechaun. Maybe it has something to do with Pitchers -n- Catchers reporting or Daniel Murphy leaving the Mets and their Irish fan base. Either way, you’ve got to admit the image is a scary one. If I had to play amateur psychologist, I’d say these dreams are a result of a very slow sports calendar combined with the violent face-slashings plaguing the NYC area. Whether emotional or physical, they have scarred me somehow… stained my dreams. And they were likely abetted by these recent Scars and Stains on Sports..

Rotator Cuff, Labrum, Caspule

Short Matt: The next time you run into The Short One at the bar, have him chronicle his medical history from back and neck problems to rotator cuff and numerous concussions. Too many blows to the head have resulted in a dogged determination to guide a sports website for longer than any of its contributors could ever have imagined. He’s nuts.

Tennis: Everybody loves a scandalous “Love Story” and the one hovering around the tennis world is intriguing. It seems as though gambling syndicates in mafia-laden Russia and Italy spearheaded the fixing of matches dating back to 2008. Tennis’ governing body has done nothing, dragging their feet in reaction to the findings. Their foot faults can’t hide SIXTEEN irregular betting patterns, in which the loser had massive amounts of money wagered against them.

Chris_Kermode tennis scandal
Tennis Honcho Hotseat: Click for more.

Further, reports allege the payoffs ranged in the amount of $75,000 to throw the contests. Is it too late to look into the loss by Serena Williams to that Italian chick at the U.S. Open last year? What deuce bags. [ahem]

Ryan McDonagh: Either he has been in the wrong place at the wrong time or he is a major prick to play against (which I highly doubt). The Rangers talented and top defenseman has endured two concussions in a personal three-game span. One was courtesy of the Flyers’ Wayne Simmonds, who sucker-punched him. The other came from an equally egregious flying elbow Thursday night from the Leafs Leo Komarov. McDonagh is now rightfully complying with NHL concussion protocol. If I’m the Rangers brass I keep this guy off the ice longer for precautionary measures. Second place in the division is pretty much in the bag, so get him back just to find his game prior to the playoffs.

New York Knicks: Derek Fisher was relieved of his head coaching duties by the Knickerbockers. My perception of the team? Bobby Fischer could have moved the basketball pieces on the hardwood better. duck folan Meet_The_MattsKurt Rambis now tries his hand at getting the Snickers to the playoffs… and I just don’t care. As for Knicks fans, though, has any NBA city accrued more scars than these sorry souls? It’s been since 1973 and Red Holzman!

Peyton Manning: What’s a column without the mention of corporate America’s most eligible billboard; Peyton Manning? Seems as though Eli’s older brother was on quite the Bill Cosby-like roll with the women going back to his college days at Tennessee. Entitlement, the family name, big-time college athletic$, and hush money/settlements made things go away. That’s a stain none of us thought we’d have to wear.

Come back to a man that eats stains and scars for breakfast, DJ Eberle.


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About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.