ANGRY WARD WEDNESDAY: WOMEN'S HISTORY MONTH

NEW YORK, NY – So it turns out that March is Women’s History Month, who knew? While many (including my esteemed colleague Junior Blaber) have pointed out that Black History is celebrated during the year’s shortest month, it also seems no coincidence that Women’s History is recognized during the most unpredictable month on the calendar. Nevertheless, there have been many women in sports who deserve an awful lot of praise and recognition this and every month. People like Babe Didrikson Zaharias, Wilma Rudolph, and Billie Jean King are all worth discussing… but not today. Instead, let’s take a look at some women in sports who have made their marks in less conventional ways.

Margo Adams: Wade Boggs had a four-year affair with this mortgage broker before it was exposed and she sued him for emotional distress and breach of oral contract (nuff said). She later posed for a truly appalling layout in Penthouse Magazine. Still, doesn’t some credit for Wade’s stellar hitting during their four-year fling have to go to Ms. Adams? If you’re gonna credit your fried chicken diet you have to at least acknowledge your lackluster side-dish.

Morganna “The Kissing Bandit” Roberts: If you’re too young to remember Morganna, you truly missed one of the great superstars of the game in her prime. Her double-barreled enthusiasm and bouncy personality will never be matched.

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Morganna, seen here helping George Brett forget about his hemorrhoids.

Chris Evert: Yeah she was a a great tennis player, blah, blah, blah. Let’s face it, the audience for her matches wouldn’t have been nearly the same had Chrissie not been so gosh darn cute. She was the girl next door in tennis whites. When she hooked up with Jimmy Connors, it was just another reason to hate the guy. In more recent years she crossed over to the world of golf by helping facilitate the end of Greg Norman’s 25-year marriage and later left The Shark holding his 3-wood, nowhere near a hole. Game. Set. Match. Ms. Evert.

Robin Givens: The woman was married to Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson!!! This was back when grown men were crapping themselves prior to entering the ring with him. And here Robin is sharing a bed with him. Call her a gold-digger, call her whatever you want, you still have to say, as far as guts go, she’s Buster Douglas, Grace Jones, and Evel Knievel rolled into one.

Oh say can you see?
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Melissa Lima: Along the same lines of “sports wife as daredevil,” we give you Jose Lima’s ex. It’s one thing to marry a guy rumored to have more STDs than a Hunts Point hooker, but even more death-defying is standing in front of a crowd of narcoleptic Dodgers fans while that guy sings the National Anthem. Thankfully, Melissa was equipped with a couple of diversions.

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Natalie Gulbis: Sure we had to get a golfer in here. Natalie hasn’t done all that much on the links but she is the one woman who was romantically linked to Ben Roethlisberger and didn’t accuse him of sexual assault. That’s a big win right there.


Jennie Finch
: She made people care about women’s softball.

Lady Met: Do you really think Mr. Met would have made it through these last few seasons without a good woman standing behind him? Please. Lady (Don’t call me Mrs.) Met was once a rising star herself, but she gave it all up to support her husband and his bourgeoning career.

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and last but not least…

Elin Nordegren
: Not only is she the only woman to ever beat Tiger Woods, she’s the only one to actually beat him using his own clubs. Now that’s impressive.

Anyway, enjoy your month ladies, you deserve it. To paraphrase comedian Larry Miller, if you ever knew just how much us men appreciated you, you’d never stop slapping our faces.

Different Matt, tomorrow…

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About Angry Ward 661 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.