Grote’s Gripes: Notre Dame v Alabama, Blow By Blow[out]

Bama Flips Off Notre Dame
Bama Flips Off Notre Dame
Notre Dame v Alabama: Tide Flips Off Irish

MIAMI, FL – Last night’s game between the Fighting Irish of Notre Dame and the Crimson Tide of Alabama was one of the most anticipated college football games I can recall.  I spent the past two and a half weeks at my father-in-law’s house, who graduated from Notre Dame in ’58, so that probably added to the hype.  The man’s license plate simply reads “ND.”  Amazingly, I bought into the hype and believed Notre Dame had a chance to win this thing.  Oh well, congratulations to the state of Alabama who has won the BCS championship game 4 years in a row and to the University of Alabama who now hold a record 10 national football titles.

Writing about anything else but this game would be foolish even though the NHL lockout is over and the most controversial baseball Hall of Fame ballot results are about the be released tomorrow.  Here is my live blow by blow recap of the blowout as it happened:

7:30 – The wife wants to unwind before the big game so she insists on watching Access HollywoodBieber smokin’ a blunt?  Why Jason, why?!  It’s Roll Tide not Roll Blunts.

8:00 – Why do they say the game starts at 8:00 on the Kickoff is 8:30 so the wife gets to watch a half hour of The Bachelor.  Why is it that women like to watch some douche bag (this time the douche’s name is Sean Lowe) dump dozens of women over the course of a season?  This game better be worth it.

Desiree Proved The Night Wasn’t A Complete Loss

8:30 – Damn, I was just getting into The Bachelor when we have to switch over for the opening kick-off.  I hope Sean picks Desiree, she is super cute and spunky.

8:35 – 7 – 0 Alabama.  The Crimson Tide caps a 82-yard drive with a Lacy touchdown.  Maybe I can get back to The Bachelor sooner than I thought.  Who said Sean was a douche bag?  He’s dreamy and family oriented.

8:45 – Notre Dame gets screwed on a fair catch interference call after recovering a fumble.  If anything, it was a block in the back penalty on Alabama.  ND needs these calls to go their way to make this game close.

8:53 – 14 – 0 Alabama.  Crimson Tide takes advantage of the penalty and shoddy tackling by ND to drive for another easy TD.  So far Manti T’eo is tackling like Womanti T’eo.

8:59 – Another questionable call against Notre Dame is being reviewed.  This time it is called a fumble on the field then reversed.  Before the reversal the wife wonders whether we should record the season premiere of Bunheads from 9 – 10.  I’m not ready to give up on ND just yet.

9:11 – Seriously, 911.  Someone call emergency; there is a manslaughter going on.  End of first quarter with Alabama leading 14 – 0 and on the ND one-yard line ready to go in again.  Too bad for you suckers who have 1 – 0 in the box pools.

9:15 – 21 – 0 Alabama.  I don’t think the heavy stuff is going to come down for quite a while now.

McCarron's girl, Katherine Webb.
McCarron’s girl, Katherine Webb.

9:20 – Notre Dame makes it into Tide territory but eventually turns the ball over on downs at the 39.  Baby steps.

9:24 – Kirk Herbstreit says ND linebacker Carlo Calabrese was “literally shooting downhill” while making a tackle.  We seriously need better gun laws.  Obviously anything goes in Florida.

9:39 – ND punt returner catches ball inside 5-yard line and gets tackled immediately.  At least he didn’t fumble the ball like he did last time.

9:55 – 28 – 0 Alabama.  Tide scores again.  Bama’s Lacy has ND soiling their under-alls.  Five minutes left in The Bachelor, think I can catch the rose ceremony and head off to bed.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Angry Ward who will be a little less Angry after the Notre Dame beat-down.

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