NEW YORK, NY – I got an email from management this morning when I woke at 4:30A (Short Matt sent it last night but I was up early… Yes, to ride my bike) asking if my column would be up early. BELIEVE IT OR NOT!!! Yes.. so I told him “No!” But of course, I’m a get it done girl, so here it is. The Top 5 Believe It Or Not moments this week:
5) COWER if Cowell’s Penis Is Coming at You… because this guy’s guys can SWIM! In a really creepy, Summer’s Eve inspiring turn of events, American Idol/The ‘X’ Factor/How Did This Guy Get So Rich? creator, Simon Cowell allegedly boffed his friend, millionaire real estate mogul, Andrew Silvernman’s, wife and now she’s knocked up. Apparently the couple’s marriage was on the rocks prior, but Simon took the ideal of “driving it to the hilt” to a blue execution. According to TMZ:
“Simon’s alleged baby mama Lauren Silverman stepped out in the Hamptons on Thursday, carrying Simon’s little bundle of rapidly multiplying cells in her uterus (allegedly).” Ew.
4) Gumshoes Gum Up Hernandez: While this story has gotten old, fast (though cops are still searching for the gun that Patriots player Aaron Hernandez used to kill Odin Lloyd), I still can’t believe that one piece of evidence has been retrieved and it’s totally a ‘DUH’ moment on the suspect’s part. A piece of blue Bubbilicious . Hernandez apparently was seen getting some of said Bubbilicious gum at a gas station when he was with Lloyd at a gas station after picking him up in a rental car. Once Lloyd went missing and the car was returned, Hernandez offered the rental agent at the return a piece of … blue Bubbilicious. AND… a piece of chewed blue Bubbilicious gum was found on the floor of the car, along with a spent .45 casing. DUH!!
3) LiLo To Be Loo-Loo No More?!? Jeez… I don’t believe this will help, NOR do I believe she’ll stick to it (I mean, did she stick to the not drinking thing, not driving thing?!? Anyone have a COUNT on how many times she’s violated probation?!). But…here’s the deal as scooped by Perez Hilton’s site:
“…after being released from a seemingly successful three month rehab stint, LiLo’s counselors at Cliffside Malibu have convinced her judge to demand three, 50-minute sessions with a shrink a week for the next 16 months.”
And just the THOUGHT of it is HILARIOUS. (God I love this girl.) The MUCH awaited, soft porn The Canyons, releases today. Who’s taking me and buying the popcorn?!
https://youtu.be/b5uTtNLUmCA
2) It’s Beginning to lookl like flocking Christmas… ya feel me Different Matt, West Coast Craig, Lori Levine, Yankee Joe?! THIS JUST IN:
Commissioner Bud Selig is prepared to levy a lifetime suspension on New York Yankees third baseman Alex Rodriguez, while suspending about eight others before the weekend, two people with knowledge of the negotiations told USA TODAY Sports.
The people were unauthorized to speak publicly because no announcement is expected until Thursday or Friday.
WOOO! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooo!!!
1) It’s Friday… and YAY! And there’s more to the Anna Benson story. You know, after she went into Kris Benson’s house dressed all in body armour, toting a gun and threatening to kill him…. calling him a ‘pus*y,’ (a second runner up to when she said she’d ‘f*ck the whole Mets organization.. LITERALLY). Well she’s now got her bond hearing and it just keeps getting better. During a bond hearing Thursday, Don Geary described how Anna Benson carried a weapon called “The Judge” Kris Benson’s home on July 7. Geary described the gun that she waved at her estranged husband, saying it was not a weapon that wounds, but “a weapon that blows holes in things” with shotgun shells that fit into the handgun.
Hmm.. yes. Blowing things. She’d know.
And with that… I’m blowing outta here and hope you all have a good weekend on tap. And I hope you come back tomorrow for the not too breezy Preacher Collins.
