CANCER ALLEY, NJ – SB 48 sure sounds like a strain of the mary jane they’ll be toking on at football parties in the pot-friendly cities of Denver, Colorado and Seattle, Washington. However ,it is merely a lawyer-friendly championship game abbreviation that a scribe can creatively use without getting sued for trademark infringement. (Screw you, NFL and why wasn’t Cypress Hill asked to perform at halftime?) Anyway, who could really blame Washington State for legalizing wacky tabacky with all that rain and the high suicide rates? Or Colorado for finally living up to their Rocky Mountain High nickname? With Bud Bowl kicking off at around 6:45, here are a few football movie remakes centered around today’s theme so pass the super bowl pipe and enjoy.
Air Greenbud: Golden Retriever A recently retired drug-sniffing DEA dog finds employment on NFL sidelines to weed out suspects of the largest marijuana ring in the USA. Former Tampa Bay Bucs kicker Donald Igwebuke co-stars in his loosely-based biopic and gets bit at the end. Laces out.
‘Bus: Another animal-driven vehicle where, Cannibus, an aptly named foal gets into a feedbag full of contraband hidden by illegal Mexican farmhands and exhibits football-kicking prowess. Cameos by Garo Yepremian and Scott Norwood. ‘Bus played by Karma Shield.
Some Green for Joey: The heart-wrenching story of a college running back and his football platform to legalize medicinal marijuana for his leukemia-stricken young brother. Touchdown celebrations mime rolling and toking joints.
Brian’s Bong: The real story behind Brian Piccolo and Gale Sayers friendship. A white guy and black guy harmoniously rooming together in the 1960’s without some kind of “help”? Puh-leez. A tear-jerker by the end, however with lots of humor in between.
The Blunt Side: A rich white family adopts a large inner city minority teenager to hide their pot empire. Disney was less than cooperative for this Woody Harrelson reboot.
Little Joints: Pop Warner team coaches get high, referees get high, parents get high and the little players get contact highs for Saturday morning games. Every play looks like a flea-flicker according to film critic Richard Roeper.
All The Right Doobs: California’s mountain marijuana towns are the backdrop to the volatile relationship between high school football stoner and his coach and highlights the running back’s schwag selection for film study, practice, walk-throughs, and games.
Gridiron Ganga: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and Ziggy Marley star in this spinoff of Cool Runnings. Two former football standouts at “The U” recruit wayward Jamaican high schoolers and teach them the game of American football and a little about life. A feel good story in more ways then one in pot-friendly theaters.
Potheads: George Clooney stars and directs this film about the first professional football league on the brink of folding until teams start using herb and hashish to help entertain the masses. The gridiron terms ‘nickle’ and ‘dime’ packages originate around this era. Sell out crowds and players’ super human efforts ensue with help from the devil’s lettuce.
Enjoy the game, pass the dutchie and puff back in tomorrow for West Coast Craig.