Carmelo Anthony, Tony Romo and Ray Rice Walk into a Bar…


Novato, CA—Some of you may remember the first incarnation of Bill Maher‘s TV show back in the 90s called “Politically Incorrect.” The premise was that kid gloves were off when it came time to discuss “delicate” or controversial issues on air. It was on basic cable, so the subject matter and the language were a bit “racy.”  It was the forum for curmudgeons among us to air grievances, push the envelope and offend some folks all in the name of “calling it the way they saw it.”  It revealed the fact that there were a lot of angry white guys in America who didn’t know what to do with themselves.

So with a lot of unresolved and gnawing things floating around the sports ether these days, someone needed to call out these guys for some serious debunking.  My intent is NOT to offend, but rather to make some random observations that most of us must be thinking. Bob Uecker, for examplea man’s man would have done this with aplomb.

Ray Rice has been officially reinstated by the NFL. This means he is immediately eligible to sign with any team in the NFL that is tone deaf and stupid enough to sign a wife beater just months after a tape was released showing Rice crushing a left cross to his wife’s jaw in an elevator.  Commissioner Roger Goodell lied through his Greenwich, Connecticut entitled teeth and concocted some nonsensical story that Rice had misled the NFL by distorting the truth. Rice was the only party in this disgusting mess to have actually told the truth! Goodell is an aristocratic piece of crap who should be picking up garbage on the side of the Van Wyck.                          Ray-Rice

The Dallas Cowboys are different this year. Unfortunately for Cowgirl fans, Tony Romo is the same, the calendar has turned to December and Tony’s about to be yesterday’s pumpkin. The “allas” Defense that was supposed to be wretched this season, is now at last living up to its billing.  No D. No playoffs for America’s detestable team this season.  This will surely confuse Troy Aikman, as do simple colors and shapes these days because the fat lipped idiot has had about 107 concussions.

Billy Beane is at it again. Having flopped by over-thinking everything (again) and making one too many trades last year, he’s back doing what he does best. Turning over his roster to get younger so that he can make another “run” 4 years from now. He just traded his best player, and MVP candidate Josh Donaldson for a gaggle of A ballers. This way Beane keeps the pressure off; the press furthers the misconception that he’s a genius, and whatever the team does is lauded as a “miracle” by Billy.  He’s never won anything, yet the world kisses his ass. He’s no mastermind. He’s a small market yokel who’s never had a stitch of expectations put on him. The same reason he turned down the Red Sox GM job 10 years ago-he can’t stand the pressure.  Oh, and have you noticed that Oakland, the Cubs, Boston and Toronto make all of these (incestuous) trades with each other year after year? Collusion? Now I know what should-be Hall of Famer Jack Morris’s fur coat went through.


Carmelo Anthony is a losing ballplayer. No team will ever win a championship with this ball hogging, selfish, me-first/and only me loser. Back in the day he’d be called a chucker. Or worse. When the late great Ralph Kiner walked into Branch Rickey‘s office one Spring after slugging 54 Home Runs, he asked for a raise on his $18,000 salary as a reward. Rickey countered by telling him that their Pirates team could have just as easily come in last place without his 54 dingers. No raise. So my question is, where would the 4-13 Knicks be without their nominal “star?” They blew it by luring this undisciplined malcontent back to the Garden. Now he’s out making comments about how he “was going to choose Chicago.” Why didn’t you? Is it because you don’t care one iota about winning? Hit the bricks, pal. You are the worst excuse for a “superstar” since David Wright. But don’t get me started on that…


Come back tomorrow for some free NFL picks sure to inspire…






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About Fake Sandy Alderson 175 Articles
Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake