How March Madness Includes Obama, Putin, Virginia, Villanova, Gonzaga?

I'm Phi Slamma Jamma on your pipeline

FT. WORTH, TX – Sitting around at the venerable Campesi’s in the Fort the other night, eating pasta and watching Arkansas hold off an Aggie comeback in college hoops…yep, it’s that time of year again, March Madness time.


Kind of fitting where we were at….old man Campesi started his restaurant back in the 50’s, when Eye-Talian food was pretty rare down south outside of New Orleans, and the joint used to be the local HQ for the area wiseguys.  Those guys did a bit of point fixin’ and such, and were big “fans” of the college game.  Jack Ruby stopped by the place for a meal the night before he made sure that Oswald kept his mouth shut.  Forever.

For those of us Jonesin’ for a baseball fix, the annual college hoops playoff tides us over, like a wee bit of Methadone tempering our madness, before the boys of summer start play.  For those of us who are not sports fans, March Madness also let’s us in on the action…via the ubiquitous office pools that sprout up.  Even those who don”t know a slam dunk from P Funk pony up some dough to get in on the action.  Ahh…gambling.  The vice of kings.

Let’s take a look at Some of the teams “on the bubble” this year.

I'm Phi Slamma Jamma on your pipeline
I’m Phi Slamma Jamma on your pipeline

Keystone Pipeline University were smacked down in the paint this last week by Democrat Liberal U, featuring their power forward the O Man, and may be out of the tourney.  The Tarsands,  (whose mascot is a cute little ol’ baby seal and feature an all Canadian starting five) are still looking to their coach John Bohener to lead them to victory.   Time will tell.

The ISIL Warriors were looking like a shoe in earlier in the year, rampaging through the Desert League and picking up some easy wins with heads off play while seeking to finally put that centuries old Crusader jinx behind them.   A dry stretch against their arch-rivals the Kurds may eliminate them from contention for the big dance, along with some real bombs being sent in from beyond the three point line by various teams in their area.

Back in the Slavic League, it’s a real shootout between Ukrainian College and Ruski U.  The Ruski’s, led by perennial all star “Bad Vlad” Putin seem to have the upper hand for now, but league play continues as the two teams enter their eight century of overtime.


A lot of the “smart money” was looking for Greek University to be a bracket buster from the Euro League.  Alas, Germany Tech throttled their ambitions with an austere defense policy.  Heck of a zone.

In other leagues, we have the following situation, with the Doc’s picks for who makes it in…

ACC. In: Virginia, Duke, North Carolina, Louisville, Notre Dame.  On the bubble: Pitt, NC State and Miami….Doc sez yea to Pitt, who should end up with over 20 wins and 4 wins against top 100 RPI teams, nada to the other two.

Big 12. In: Baylor, Iowa State, Oklahoma, Kansas, West Virginny.  Bubble: Okie State and Texas.  Okie State yes, Texas no.

American Athletic. In: SMU.  Bubble: Cincinnati, Temple and Tulsa.  Temple looks most likely, with Cincy a perhaps.

Atlantic Ten. In: VCU.  Bubble: Dayton, Davidson and Rhode Island.   Legendary NY Rugger Jim Witter played his college football. at Dayton.  Which is why they’ll get in. The others not.

Big East. In: Villanova, Georgetown.  Bubble: Providence, Butler, St’ John’s, Xavier.  They should call this conference the Big Priest, given it’s abundance of Catholic schools. I think all four of their bubble teams get in , given the abundance of talent and overall institutional respect the league among the selection committee.


Big Ten. In: Maryland, Wisconsin.  Bubble: Indiana, Michigan State, Ohio State, Iowa, Illinois, Purdue.  The Big Ten will get at least six teams in…..and the two uber bubble teams in this set are Iowa and Illinois.  They have to play each other again…loser goes home.

Mountain West. In: San Diego State.  Bubble: Colorado State, Boise State.  Colorado State is in…Boise State is in if they play well in the league tourney.

Pac 12. In: Arizona, Utah.  Bubble:  Oregon, UCLA, Stanford. Oregon is in.  The others…not.

SEC. In: Kentucky, Arkansas.  Bubble: Ole Miss, Texas A&M, Georgia, LSU.  Georgia does not make it, while the other three do.

Others. In: Gonzaga, Wichita State, Northern Iowa. Bubble: Old Dominion, BYU.  BYU has some top scorers and sneaks in…ODU’s lousy strength of schedule sends them packing to the NIT.

For those of you really in need of a baseball fix, the college boys have already started their season.  The Horned Frogs of TCU are rated #1 this year, and just finished a 3 game series against #8 Arizona State out in Pheonix, taking 2 out of 3.  Fun to watch…but the dang ‘ping’ of those stupid aluminum bats is just another sign that the world is goin’ to hell in a handbag as far as I’m concerned.

Well, some folk’s are still out there doin’ their jobs.  Like the Highway Patrol… This should tide you over until tomorrow with the man who got 136 comments last Saturday, Junoir Blaber.

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About Dr. Diz 50 Articles
Doc Diz resides in Fort Worth, Texas for the past 15 years. When not playing old boys rugby or skiing, he is known for sampling Maker's Mark for its medicinal qualities. A native of Connecticut, the Doc has managed to move around enough to have lived in all four US time zones, which has allowed him to get a little perspective from west of the Hudson where guns, drilling for oil and gas and Big Gulp soda pops are still legal.