DUNG DROPPINGS, NY – Today is the first football-less Sunday since the first week of September and it doesn’t feel so good. There’s no weekly point-spread pool or King of the Hill or fantasy lineup to get in before the 1:00 kickoff time (see how much the NFL’s popularity revolves around gambling?). So, nothing quite fills the void left by football. But I’m here to give a few tips on how to spend this new found block of time.
Church: Never a fan of the 5:00 Saturday night mass, my mom always encouraged her children to attend the 9 a.m. Sunday service in order to “get it out of the way as quickly as you can so the rest of the day is yours.” It’s not exactly a ringing endorsement for any religion but you get the idea to maybe make some time and reconnect with The Man.
Snow: If you live in the northern suburbs or Long Island take a look around and enjoy all the white stuff that Mother Nature has dumped on your arse. Take the wife and kids out and shovel the walkway, go sledding, or build a snow family because all this powdered sh!t ain’t goin’ nowhere for a while.
Immunizations: The hot topic of immunizations reminds parents about the prevention of measles. Take a trip to the walk-in clinic with the brood (especially if their behavior warrants a shot in the arm) and reduce the risk of illness.
Hockey: For me and nine others, this is more than enough to fill the void until late Spring. Enjoy Mike “Doc” Emrick calling games on NBC Sports Network’s Wednesday Night Rivalry and Sunday afternoon telecasts. Don’t limit yourself to just the NHL, but take a trip to the local rink and watch local high school and college teams take to the ice. There is some spirited (read fisticuffs) semi-pro hockey if you live in the correct locale of such that is worth the price of admission.
Doc Emrick could almost make soccer exciting. Almost.
Valentine’s Day: February is for sweethearts and Cupid must have been a football fan–how else can you explain promoting love right after the NFL closes shop? Men evolve from their man caves all over this great country, shed the bright light from their eyes, shave, bathe, and ready themselves for marathon romance sessions. Afternoon delight helps burn daylight into night. Let’s get it on!
Baseball: With frigid temps in the northeast, sports fans are counting the number of days until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training baseball in Arizona and Florida. As for me, I don’t give a rat’s ass! Is there anything more droll than exhibition baseball. I mean, if I’m in F-L-A, yeah, I’ll see a game because it’s something to do but to go crazy about seeing baseball in February and March if you’re sitting behind a desk at work just befuddles me.
Basketball: Haha! I see the NBA All-Star game Weekend is being held in NYC. [Yawn]. Check, please!
