Of Matt And Mets, Mike Moustakas, and Al Arbour

gorillaBronx, NY-Ignoring the five-hundred pound gorilla in the room is never successful but we here at MTM are giving it a try on a Sunday when yours truly aims to “help” with certain football advice. The change in reasoning is out of doing worse than the ’76 Bucs and ’08 Lions–or so it seems to me, at least. You’ll have to read every line of today’s column to find what you seek. Consider it a game like Where’s Waldo but don’t mention the gorilla in the room, please.

Half of this site’s founder has been travelling as if a Conde Nast staffer. I don’t know where the hell he’s been but what I do know is there is a lot of truth to Short Matt being a Mets jinx. We’ll safely call him “Magic Matt” where instead of woman losing control over a bunch of Chippendales types, the Mets and their fans just plain lose when Mini Matt is in NYC. It’s well documented folks. Atlanta/Tampa Bay over forty-eight and a half.  Just ask Angry Ward, Grinding Ax Walter, and Fake Sandy Alderson.

donutBallplayers in all sports have become quite soft over the past few decades. Jive-ass trash-talking is in and a natural hatred for that day’s opponent is gone with the wind. It was refreshing to see Noah Syndegaard throw Friday night’s first pitch rivaling Nuke LaLoosh hitting the Durham Bull in the head near the backstop. St. Louis minus eight over San Francisco.  Royals 3B Mike Moustakas took the most exception to the tactic. (I read lips very well). Back in the day and before that, the Gibsons, Carltons, or Ryans would have turned Moustakas’ face into a donut while he stood at bat. A war of words has now ensued with Thor saying he’ll meet the Royals douchebag 60’6″ to settle things. Good for him but I don’t think it will take much to floor Moustakas who hails from a place called Chatsworth, California. Just sounds like an entitled place short of Beverly Hills where faux tough guys hide behind their parents checkbooks. Shut up and let your play do the talking.

alFootball is losing its luster with me and I am watching even more hockey than normal. The Boston Bruins, as of Saturday afternoon, are 5-0-1 in their last six and are scoring lots.  San Diego plus three and a half over Baltimore.  Thankfully, the Brooklyn Islanders have chosen a tribute to Al Arbour in the form of a circular patch on their jersies. Outside of a movie like Slapshot, can you imagine men on skates with an AA patch on a sweater?  Another Al passed away a few days ago. Replacing Pat Morita as proprietor of the diner on Happy Days was a tall order but Al Molinaro pulled it off as Arnold’s became Al’s. Before that, in a role l remember him mostly for, he played the Odd Couple’s worrisome police officer Murray.  Pittsburgh/Cincinnati under forty-eight and a half.  Crediting Molinaro for Joanie Loves Chachi is just wrong.

Enjoy your football/baseball Sunday.  I’ll say hello to the gorilla in the room for you.


Share Button
About Cheesy Bruin 491 Articles
A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.