Yo! Make your Move, Mets!

Get Used to seeing Yo in a different uniform
Get Used to seeing Yo in a different uniform
Get Used to seeing Yo in a different uniform

Greenwich, CT—“Mets Twitter” is on the verge of a Chernobyl-like meltdown. I say Chernobyl because the Mets’ stunning inaction in the face of several Yoenis Cespedes rumors promises to ruin Met fan allegiance for decades.

The hated Washington Nationals have reportedly made a 5 year offer for more than $100M to Cespedes. Such a Cuban defection would destroy and negate any shred of credibility and good will that last year’s world series trip may have generated. Losing La Potencia to the White Sox or Angels would be one thing. Seeing him join Lifestyle Daniel Murphy in the middle of an already strong Nationals lineup would be another.

Perhaps most galling to Met fans is the radio silence from their ownership and front office in response to this Red Invasion from our Nation’s Capital.  (Real) Sandy Alderson dismissively told a gathering of season ticket holders this week that he remained “in contact with” Cespedes’ agents, but that was all he could say at the moment.  Sandy’s so important it hurts.

Before continuing, here is yesterdays edited version of our first ever live Sports webcast:

Now back to the column…

Now with reports of a firm 5 year offer on the table, the Mets remained defiant in their “stance.” In this scenario, the Mets have yet to make an actual offer. It’s hard to persuade a player that taking $100M is riskier than taking the Mets “concept” of an offer. Only the Mets. Only the phony erudition of Sandy and his minions can make arrogance a team’s official stance.

new-york-mets-sandy-alderson-jury-dutyI’m not expecting a positive outcome from this whole affair. Well, other than for Cespedes. The condemnation of the Wilpons will be swift and vicious. And deserved. A World Series participant in 2015, the Mets have gone the other way. Substituting Alejandro de Aza for the slugging Cespedes is an insult to every fan. Expecting fans to accept whatever “reinforcements” Sandy digs out of the dumpster just illustrates once again what Sandy is. One lucky trade-deadline acquisition away from being the same incompetent, out of touch, and detached executive who presided over 4 straight losing seasons, poor drafts and wasteful free agent investments. He is exactly who I thought he was.

Once Yo is comfortably outfitted in Washington, we will get the following top 10 list of reasons why Sandy and the Wilpons let Cespy walk.

10. Cespedes tried a “chat and cut” in line at Citi cafeteria.

9. Jeffy thought Cespy had had a child out of wedlock.

8. Cespedes frightened at the physical appearance of half man/half bullfrog co-owner Saul Katz.


7. Upon meeting Jeffy for first time, would not believe that he signed the checks.

6. Cespedes refused to be an Elf at Mets Christmas Party.

5. Jeffy accused Cespy of passing Bernie Sanders socialist propaganda in the clubhouse

4. Cespy butted heads with trainer Ray Ramirez’ voodoo diagnoses.

3. Cespy refused to use the servant’s entrance when invited to Jeffy’s Greenwich castle.

2. Cespedes allegedly insisted on being driven around in a 50s era bullpen cart.

Mets Bullpen car used to bring players to and from the field

1.  He Bogarted all of the Cigars!

That’s it! Sorry Met fans to be the bearer of this, but I look forward to the coming revolution!

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About Fake Sandy Alderson 175 Articles
Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of Metsblog.com blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake