Angry Ward Wednesday: I Did My Research on Aaron Rodgers, The Mets GM Problem, and the Golden State Warriors

Angry Ward Wednesday, Steve Cohen, MLB, Meet-The-Matts, Ward-Calhoun, Nemanja Bjelica, Sandy Alderson, Angry_Ward, Nosferatu, Sportsnaut

BRONX, NY – Those of you who know me know that I’m a critical thinker. It’s true. I spend most of my time thinking about all of those people, places, and things I want to criticize. A key part of my process is doing my own research. This is a painstaking and complex operation that involves looking at whatever comes flickering across my laptop or iPhone, taking a few seconds to form an opinion on it, and rant when necessary. To be clear, I’m not some sort of Meet The Matts Magic 8 Ball, I’m as deep and mysterious as the ocean. Anyway, I just got finished doing my research on some sports stuff. Lookie here.

Aaron Rodgers is a Doofus. Sports is chock full of doofuses and, at long last, Aaron Rodgers has let us know that he is one as well. For years he projected brooding, introspective, Jeopardy-loving QB genius, but he’s really just another dope who happens to be a very good quarterback. Whatever you think of any of his recent comments or actions, the guy we thought was the strong, silent, measured type lifted the curtain on all that hooey. I mean, he’s not sending d!ck pics (yet) but he’s clearly more Favre than he is Freud, more Gronk than Galileo. That’s OK, it was bound to happen at some point. It’s not easy keeping all those original thoughts and emotions and opinions bottled up. Derek Jeter was a black belt at it only because he had none of those things. Inside his head plays a soothing white noise and little else. Lucky bastard.

Mets GM Search. Apparently no one wants to be the new Mets GM or President of Baseball Operations or anything really. Sandy Alderson claims it’s because people—apparently everyone in baseball—are afraid of New York. He says it has nothing to do with ownership or other front office personnel. I think it does, and it’s Sandy. Who wants to be GM or President of Baseball Ops—why are these two separate jobs?—when Alderson’s lurking there like Nosferatu with the title of President? It’s time for Sandy to retire to the Old Baseball Executives Home so Cohen can continue his Mets Old Timer’s Day hiring practices by bringing back Omar Minaya and Willie Randolph.

“You Warriors are good. Real good.” In this instance I’m not talking about the gang from Coney Island, but the basketball team that now calls San Francisco home. I’ve had a chance to catch a few of their games this year and Golden State, health-permitting, looks like a legitimate contender again. They’re 9-1, and still waiting to get Klay Thompson back. Their bench looks as deep as the one they had when they won the first of their flurry of championships pre-Durant. Curry has been Curry, but guys like Jordan Poole, Nemanja Bjelica, and Gary Payton II are all contributing significant points and minutes. I gotta stop, because I’m laughing. You people could give a rats ass about this. I don’t care. I feel the same way anytime someone gets going really good on the New York Rangers.

I think I’m done for today. All this research has made me tired. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, no relation to Edwin.

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About Angry Ward 619 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.