INDIANAPOLIS, IN – In a world gone mad we have two things that never happened before:
1) A home team is playing in the Super Bowl for the 2nd consecutive year
2) Grinding Ax Walt is AWOL (a cause for concern) with me in Indy.
This confluence of events forces moi to post something while scrambling to flee the hotel (just a stone’s throw from Lucas Oil Stadium) for the flight home. NOTE: I cannot miss this flight. The wife is sick of walking the dog. Me not getting back for my turns in the Fido rotation could spell the end of the marriage. With that and a consideration of your precious time, here’s what were looking at on this Super Sunday: ‘Murica’s Bengals v Hollywood’s Rams Hangover Worthy? Who to Root For/Against.
‘Murica’s Bengals v Hollywood’s Rams Hangover Worthy?
Yes. It should be a good game. And you should get as much drinking in before Lent, when you join me in NOT drinking for 40+ days.
Who to Root For/Against
Los Angeles is comprised of soulless sycophants spread out over too many miles of smog, cars and Botox. You can drive around looking for what your perceived notion of the place is/was, yet don’t find it because it’s just a calamitously disappointing destination. However, there is no “destination,” as you keep looking for that “thing” that must draw people to it. Having lived there, though, I figured out pretty quickly that the “city” of Los Angeles was really just a spread out cluster (an oxymoronic phrase) of sh1tty Long Island towns with some palm trees, the Hollywood sign and way-more-expensive gas prices. Did I mention that it’s rife with transient whores only interested in you if they think they can benefit (get an acting gig) from you? Hell, it was founded by film biz money-mongers wanting cheap land for massive studio space. City planners didn’t design it – gluttonous movie producers did. That’s why it’s a spread out sh1t-show. Moreover, Big Ben Whitney’s guy Odell Beckham loves it there. But the the weather is nice.
Cincinnati, on the other hand, is a small, organically formed city in Middle America. It has real people living real lives. Rarely does the proverbial sun shine down on them, placing them positively in the papers. Before Joe Burrow, when was the last time Cincinnati crossed your lips? It didn’t. They haven’t had a winner since the Reds last won a World Series. And the folks there are just that – folks. They are NOT a bunch of soul-sucking transient whores. They live in Ohio, fer crissakes! The weather isn’t as nice as it is in L.A. during the winter, though.
The choice is yours. You can go Hollywood… or you can go ‘Murica. May God help you navigate this choice, lest you… Rot. In. Hell.
Feel free to comment below and please come back tomorrow for Junoir Blaber, who bailed my a$$ out yesterday with an unsolicited – and stellar – pinch-hit.