Angry Ward Wednesday: Baseball Blues, Zach’s a Turtle, and Bearish on Stearns

Angry Ward, Jerry Jones, David Stearns, Buck Showalter, NFL, MLB, NFL, Mets, Meet-The-Matts, Ward Calhoun, #GoogleAlerts
Mets Prez David Stearns holds Buck Showalter & Jerry Jones close to his heart.

NEW YORK, NY – The past couple of weeks these posts of mine have been running a tad on the long side. Today welcomes in a long overdue over-correction. Gonna keep it terse today, people. Let’s go.

Baseball Playoffs. (*sigh*) We’ve finally made it to Major League Baseball’s post season and, after watching the Mariners miss the playoffs by one lousy game and witnessing the season-long car wreck that was the Mets, I’ve pretty much had all of the enjoyment and interest beat out of me. Looking at the teams still standing, it’s pretty much a who’s-who of who I DON’T want to win. At least I have a clear choice on the AL, where the Orioles are the only potential feel-good story… which is why they’ll probably get eliminated immediately. The rest of the Junior Circuit teams can politely screw off. Sorry, Twins, I’ve witnessed too many playoff no-shows to back you even a little bit. It’s almost as bad in the NL where, honestly, they should just let the Dodgers and Braves play an 11-game series to decide it. And by IT, I mean the World Series. I don’t love either team, but I’m open to any ideas that keep both Texas teams out of it, and Philly too. The worst.

Zach Wilson. I have an important update on Jets quarterback Zach Wilson. As many of you know, I’ve been referring to him as Bob’s Big Boy because of his uncanny resemblance to that roadside gastropalace’s  burger-hoisting mascot. And that still stands. But now, after watching him play a couple of games and seeing him on the sideline sporting that ridiculous white headband of his, I’m convinced that he is actually a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle character that was so unlikable he ended up on the editing room floor, and eventually in New Jersey. He just needs one of those stupid Renaissance painter-sounding names. Maybe Carcrashavaggio or Botchicelli. Like Wilson himself, it’s an ill-conceived work in progress.

David Stearns. I commented a bit on the Mets’ new Prez of Baseball Ops on Monday in Junior’s column. Was less than thrilled with the way he handled—or rather, DIDN’T handle—Buck Showalter’s firing. I sincerely hope his talent-evaluation skills are considerably better than his people/leadership skills. Not a great start. As far as guys named Stearns in Queens go: John Stearns > David Stearns. Stay tuned.

…and, finally

Jerry Jones, Master Motivator. Jerry says the road to the Super Bowl goes through San Francisco. I say, way to fire up your divisional rival and the team that went to the Super Bowl last year and almost won it, J.J.

Speaking of the Eagles, Buddy Diaz is back on the scene tomorrow. Swing on by and pay him a visit.

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About Angry Ward 755 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.