Angry Ward Wednesday: Laker Losers, Bellinger and Boras Settle, and the NFL BS Machine is in Full Swing

NEW YORK, NY – So, this past Sunday I actually watched a lot of the Lakers/Suns afternoon #NBA game on ABC. I pretty much never do this, so that should give you an idea of what a thrill-filled Sunday I was having. Anyway, I had three takeaways from the game, two as they were happening and one on Monday:
Takeaway #1: Not only does the league not call “traveling” anymore, but LeBron James could tuck the basketball under his arm, running back style, run the full length of the court without dribbling, and finish with a windmill dunk, and it would be allowed.
Takeaway #2: Los Angeles plays very little defense. Phoenix put up 45 on them in the first quarter without breaking a sweat. As I texted a friend, “The French played better defense in World War II.”
Takeaway #3: The Lakers are bunch of whiny little babies. The day after losing the game, they complained about not getting enough foul calls. Hahahaha! They have got to be kidding, right? It was only a scant month ago that LA got to the charity stripe 36 times vs. Toronto, including 23 times in the fourth quarter in a one point win over the Raptors. In that game, Anthony Davis shot 14 free throws alone, compared to a total of 13 for Toronto. So, in summation, I don’t like the Lakers. Let’s move on.

Bellinger Signs with the Cubs. Not that $80 million over 3 years is anything to sneeze at, but it seems like the new deal Cody Bellinger just signed with the Cubs is a lot like the last deal he signed with the Cubs. In short, while he has opt-outs over the next two years that are up to him, this just feels like another “1-year and prove it… again” kinda situation. Hardly the hardline Scott Boras is known for taking. As for the Cubs, three years at this amount seems like a pretty shrewd move. You want to pull for the players in these situations, but when it’s Boras vs. Ownership, there are no winners. Speaking of soon-to-be free agents…

Hilariously Ham-fisted ESPN NFL Story Plants. As I’m tapping this out on my keyboard, all of these NFL stories are appearing simultaneously under ESPN’s Top Headlines section. I’ll us my BS decoder ring to translate.

• Bears to Make QB Call as Quickly as Possible. Translation: “Please call us now with all sorts of amazing deals for Justin Fields! Barring that, please call us now with how you’re going to mortgage your future for years to come to get our #1 overall pick. Seriously… call! We don’t want to be thinking about this on draft night.”

• Decision on Broncos’ Wilson in Next 2 Weeks. Translation: There is NO WAY Russell Wilson will be back in Denver next year. Is there a single person that thinks this is even being considered by either side? Stop wasting our time with this garbage. This is like the football equivalent of saying that Florida is still a “swing state.” Pfft!

• Titans Haven’t Ruled Out Bringing Back Henry. Translation: Yes they have. It makes no sense keeping a 30-year-old running back (albeit an awesome one) while you are in full rebuild mode. The Titans are going to be horrible this year and I hope Henry gets a real shot with real playoff team.

• Giants GM: Second Barkley Tag Not Off the Table. Translation: Oh, it almost certainly is, and this is just another transparent pre-draft ploy to fool no one into thinking, “Hey, we better trade for him instead of waiting for him to hit the open market.” It’s cute when actual General Managers act like 12-year-old Fantasy Football owners.

I guess I’m an idiot for thinking that #ESPN maybe wouldn’t breathe any life into all of this nonsense, but when it’s late February and your other top stories are that Tiger Woods isn’t returning Jon Rahm’s texts and Steve Cohen had a Zagnut Bar and Diet Mr. Pibb for lunch, it’s any port in the storm.

Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who is partial to 100 Grand Bars and C&C Cola.

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About Angry Ward 743 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.