Angry Ward Wednesday: Consuming Sports: With Sizzling Rice, A Half Glass of Mets, and NBA Finger Food on the Menu

Yankees latest phenom Ben Rice, always welcomed by Shane Spencer's Goyang Heroes.

NEW YORK, NY – It’s been a tad warm here in the Northeast, and everywhere else I suppose, so the idea of cranking up the stove and cooking dinner this evening is NOT an appealing one. Still, let’s not let that stop us from rattling some pots and pans and busting out the utensils for a Wednesday Sports Smorgasbord, of sorts. Mangia!

Another Yankee Flash in the Pan? 

Shane Spencer, Luke Voit, Kevin Maas, Gary Sanchez, Greg Bird, Mike Tauchman.What do all these names have in common? These are but a handful of New York Yankees players who were at one time thought of as future superstars or, at the very least, memorable cult heroes. I bring these guys up because this past Saturday, young Yanks first baseman Ben Rice jacked three home runs in one game against the Red Sox and, in doing so, got Yankees fans jacked up all out of proportion. Look, I don’t wish the kid any ill will (well… maybe a little) but The Bomberazzi need to pump the brakes. It’s one game, people. Three dingers in a single game is awesome and has been accomplished by some of the biggest names in the game, but it’s also been done by these guys: Mickey Brantley, Ernie Whitt, Randy Milligan, Geronimo Berroa (two times!), and—my personal fave—Freddie Patek, all 5′ 5″ of him. Just chill, and let the kid play.

Mets Glass Half Full? 

Yes, the New York Mets had a pretty decent June… especially by their terrifically-low standards. So, are they suddenly on the upswing? Could the Metsies be trade deadline buyers, trying to find any identifiable name to parachute into their wasteland of a bullpen? I would have to say… probably not. Between their starting rotation, the aforementioned pig pen, and the fact that Home Run Derby sideshow Pete Alonso (and his .240 average) is their lone All Star Game rep, it doesn’t seem that have enough of anything to make a realistic run. They do have Francisco Alvarez and Mark Vientos and some other young guys that they can build around, but this ain’t their year. Also, I don’t like Carlos Mendoza.

Wash Your Hands Before Spinner. 

Finally, in one of the more amusing stories of the week, someone on the NBA’s Social Media team (a genius, really), came up with the great idea of asking 2024 US Men’s Olympic Team members if they can spin a basketball on their finger. Of the guys who could NOT, Steph Curry and LeBron James were absolute shockers. The video segments are great and, while Bron and Steph are mortal lock Hall of Famers, you just know they’re a little p!ssed that these pinholes in their otherwise stellar résumés have been exposed.

Okay, that’s it for me, I’m spinning on outta here. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, who might want to consider doing some spin control for his Yankees.

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About Angry Ward 775 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.