NEW YORK, NY – It was back in 2014, when I was having dinner at a place called Flemings, which was located in Tampa, Florida. With me was Hank Steinbrenner, Ray Negron and Reggie Jackson. Jackson stared at me from across the table and blurted out, “Hey Dice, it’s time to give it up.”
“Dice” is Jackson’s personal nickname for me cause I remind him of Andrew “Dice” Clay, and what he meant by “give it up” was the remaining hairs that I had on my dome. At that point, I realized that Rogaine had failed me and the next day, I gave it up and had a barber give me a baldie. Reggie’s advice did wonders for my lifestyle.
After the New York Yankees got eliminated from the Division Series, my advice to the head honcho, Hal Steinbrenner, who is Hank’s younger brother is, “It’s time to give it up.” I’m not talking about his great set of hair, I’m referring to his ANALytics Dept.
For the past few years, Manager Aaron Boone has taken more beatings than Arturo Gatti. The fans along with the media, have vilified Boone when the real culprits are the geeks behind the laptops. The ANALytical crew who have brainwashed Hal into believing that this is the way to go, has got to go.
To rely simply on ANALytics is like relying on a beautiful woman to be a great wife. These morons, who never played the game, compile a lineup of power hitters, who produce solo home runs every now and then. It’s like trying to build something with a bunch of hammers but no nails.
On the pitching side, the turds, who really think they’re baseball experts, set up the starting pitchers to get 12 outs on 100 pitches, before they start playing Russian Roulette with the relievers.
All this comes under the microscope in a short do or die series and for the 16th year in a row, the Yankees have died. So the message to Hal is, before you spend another 300 million dollars on one player to be ANALytically played by these nerds behind the laptops and before you let Aaron Boone hang like a piñata, the time is now to give up on your ANALytic Dept.
It might do you some good to bring back Mr. October himself to advise you like a true O.G., unlike these YES MEN you employ.
