HOMELAND, NJ – It would be easy to take on the role of The Gloater this week… However, it is Christmas week here in Mattville. In lieu of this approach, I have decided to re-write a Christmas Poem. I hope you all enjoy it.
Two Nights Before Christmas
‘Twas two nights before Christmas and all through Matts City,
Was a feeling of sadness, envy and self-pity
For Big Al Sternberg could not stomach the worst,
That his Giants were losing and the Cowboys were first.
For he hates if you cheer for a team not from your state,
And the fact that his Eli threw picks at this rate.
While Cheeseman and Grinding Ax are bursting with joy,
West Coast Craig was barking that Aikman likes boys.
Jerry Jones And Chris Christie are rolling in fun,
As Small Matt is anxious, and loading his gun.
Junoir Blaber discusses Rugby’s All Blacks,
Bacon lover JG Clancy gives that sport verbal smacks.
DJ Eberle dreams of a Cup or a Super Bowl Ring,
Cause in Buffalo disappointment is a regular thing.
Angry Ward’s teams have nearly brought him to tears,
No wonder he’s Angry, it’s been twenty eight years.
Come Different Matt, Come Tall Matt, Come Cookie, Come Diz,
We all know that Romo’s playoffs will Fiz,.
And to Jet fans your season went down with a fight,
But to Rex Ryan, it’s over, a final Good Night!
PUCK DROP: For New York Rangers fans like yours truly, our Blueshirts are on a fine holiday roll, slowly creeping up on the Icelanders who, as we all know, are about to be sent to a foster home in Brooklyn.
Merry Christmas to All!
Come back tomorrow as Angry Ward burns his own Yule Log!
P.s… Has Eli channeled himself into Peyton’s body?
