Author Archive for Replacement Matt

Replacement Matt, aka Aussie Matt & Trevor Herrick, has been the Minnie Minoso of MTM from Day One. He's willingly been hit in the undercarriage by cricket balls, had beer poured on him from the upper deck and been handed the camera to hold for Tall and Short Matt on countless occasions. In many ways, he's been too valuable to start. But make no mistake, he'd be the headliner on any other bald guy's sports site!

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Breaking Mets News: Bidding Opens Up. Cohen Back At Table. Jimmy Kimmel 30 for 30 on ’86 Mets

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COVIDIA, USA – Welcome to Friday folks. We’ve made it through another week without being besieged by Boogaloo Bois and Karens, congratulations! Anyway… As the return of actual sports seems just around the corner, today I bring you news on the mighty New York Metropolitans, the proud NL NYC Ballclub. Not only do the Metsies […]

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Covid Prop Bets: Which Sport Will Stop Their Season First?

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SH*T HOLE COUNTRY, USA – As we enter into Fourth of July weekend and the inevitable spike in cases, I’d like to take a look at prop betting on sports restart and stops that should be coming in the next month or so. Which Sport Will Stop Their Season First? NBA 15-1 MLB 25-1 NHL […]

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Rob Manfred Worst MLB Commissioner Ever? Worst In All Sports?! Plus: Ban NASCAR

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SENSIBLE, NJ – A good day to you,  and as the day unfolds I’d like to share with you the one sports -elated thought that has been percolating in my brain for weeks now. Apparently, the MLB players union and owners’ lackey, Rob Manfred, have finally gotten into a room and had a chat to […]

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How Sports Can Save the World… But Probably Won’t

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DANTE’S INFERNO, USA – Wow! A lot has been going on in the world lately, eh? COVID 19 seems like small potatoes compared to all the other stuff happening. Don’t ya think? Well, I’m here to follow up on my brothers-in-arms, Junoir Blaber and Buddy Diaz’s comments and defy Management (Short Matt said white guys […]

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Sports-Less Landscape? Watch “Bad Lieutenant’s” Best Fictional Sports Moment

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COVID COUNTY, USA – Welcome to Memorial Day Weekend, where we look forward to BBQ’s, MLB baseball, NHL and NBA playoffs… oh wait, none of those things are on tap anymore. Oh well, we can watch some reruns of old games. Wait… I guess Horse Racing is happening now? Well, in the spirit segues from […]

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Replacement Matt: Korean Baseball, The Last Dance, Iconic Announcers Calling Video Games

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LOCK’D, NJ –  As we approach our umpteenth week indoors, I think we can all collectively state we have lost our goddamn minds. When I read an article on The Athletic that Gary Cohen is excited to call video games for the network, you know things are bleak. When we are excited to get up […]

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Replacement Matt: NFL Draft Notes, Entertainment Value? Mets Fumble Ownership

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QUARANTENIA, BASEMENT – Welcome to another beautiful in day in our eternal lock-down. Last night the sports world offered up the first semblance of a return to normalcy in the much over-hyped event outside the ESPY’s – the first round of the NFL Draft. An “event” that I normally skip in favor of watching a […]

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Replacement Friday: What Is Left?

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PANDEMIA, LOCUSTS – One month into lock-down and social and economic oblivion and Ive been tasked to write a sports column. I managed to drum up ideas of how to restart sports leagues in a satirical way last time out and… it seems someone was listening? I suggested playing all baseball in Florida and the […]

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Sports Quarantine Solutions: LeBron, NHL in Yellowknife, MLB Moves To Florida

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NEW PESTILENCE, NJ – Happy Friday everyone, in The Land That Time Forgot. Days of the week mean nothing while sitting home for the umpteenth day running home school and wondering if everything you experience is a symptom of the bug. But enough about that noise, let’s talk about the world we wished we still […]

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Suspend This! To-Do List for Sports Fans During Coronavirus Lockdown

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MEDICAL TENT, ANTARCTICA – The NBA is suspended indefinitely, The NCAA tournament will be not be played. Short Matt’s Major League Rugby suspended matches for a month after Buddy Diaz jinked jinxed them yesterday. And as I type, the NHL has suspended its season and MLB has suspended the remaining spring training games and at […]

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