Tag: Blue Jays

Yankees in Trouble, NFL Kicks Off on Eve of 9/11 Anniversary

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NEW YORK, NY – With just a few weeks left in the MLB irregular season, the battered Yankees are on the verge of playing themselves right out of the playoffS. The Bronx Bombers won 14 of their first 20 games and looked like they would cruise into the playoffs at the top of the AL […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: The NHL, Yankees in Hell, and Here Comes the NFL!

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BRONX, NY – On Labor Day my friends and I had our 2020 Fantasy Football Draft. It was chock full of surprises, super sleepers, and the kind of insightful football info you can only get from a bunch of rapidly-aging white guy losers. I can’t wait to tell you all about it! Just kidding. You’ve […]

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Major League Baseball Second Half Starts With Trades Looming

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“This could be the end of the Mets core pitching staff …” –Different Matt NEW YORK, NY – With the All-Star Game in the rear-view mirror, most of baseball will begin their trudge towards the finish line today, as the second half of the season gets underway. The Yankees and Mets went into the break […]

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Indians in Believeland, Dodgers Ignite Cubs Curse Talk; Eagles, Redskins, Vikings

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 SPANISH HARLEM – At this time the Cleveland Indians are riding a wave that only Lebron James has surfed. Indians’ fans believe this is their time and it’s hard to find fault in that, as their team has played exceptionally well this postseason. First, they sweept the red-hot (at the time) Red Sox. Then they […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Donald Trump is Going to Make Sports Great Again

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BRONX, NY – Hasn’t sports been sucking lately? C’mon, you know it has. The NBA is nothing more than three or four teams and a bunch of can’t-hack-it, oversized scrubs. The Kansas City Royals are the friggin’ defending champs in baseball. The NHL doesn’t even merit a home page link on ESPN.com and this past Super […]

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Brady Skates, Mets Roll, and Yanks Tread Water

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New York, NY – Once again the circus act that is the NFL fails to punish its biggest star for blatantly cheating. The rules are clear. If you’re Tom Brady, you can get away with anything. Yesterday some jackmo in a robe decided that Tom Brady could cheat with impunity so the golden boy will […]

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NY Haters Snub Mets and Yanks for All-Star Game. Thank Bill the Butcher!

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LAWRENCE, KS – There are a few parts of America where – believe it or not – the city of New York is not especially loved. Let me be a bit more direct: The rest of this country views New York City with such contempt, such utter disdain that a chance to “stick it” to […]

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Horse Box Diplomacy: Fans of Yankees, Red Sox, Orioles Bond Against…

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On Sunday I found myself in a horse box. I know you don’t know what that is and quite frankly, neither do I. While it does sound vaguely erotic – like a device you might find in a whimsical pleasure dungeon – it is not that… much to my chagrin. The Horse Box simply put, […]

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METS ACQUIRE HALLADAY: MINAYA STUNS LEAGUE

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NEW YORK, NY – The NY Mets and Toronto Blue Jays have allegedly reached an agreement that would make star right-hander Roy Halladay a NY Metropolitan, just one day after the Philadelphia Phillies acquired last year’s American League Cy Young Winner, Cliff Lee. Details of this trade are sketchy right now. In fact, we caught […]

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