Angry Ward: Mets Hot Stove Cookin’, Packers Bringing Joy, and the Upcoming Weekend in New York Football

Angry Ward, Andre Scrubb, Kyle Crick, Shawshank Redemption, Morgan Freeman, Tim Robbins, Zach Wilson, NFL, Meet-The-Matts, Vikings, Ward Calhoun, #GoogleAlerts

NEW YORK, NY- Since we’re officially in the stretch run to the holidays, I was toying of writing a Meet The Matts parody of Charles Dickens’s “A Christmas Carol,” where Short Matt gets visited by three ghosts of MTM holiday parties past: Junior Blaber, Sam’s-a-Fan, and a horrific plate full of deep fried chicken wings and mozzarella sticks. But that seems like an awful lot of work. So, instead, let’s touch on a couple of sports things and get on out of here.

Merry ChrisMets! Major League Baseball’s hot stove is on fire. And, sure, you may want to talk about Juan Soto to the Yankees or that dude the Dodgers just signed, but don’t you dare sleep on all the slick offseason moves the deep-pocketed New York Mets have been making. Let’s take a look, shall we? It all got off to a flying start in early November when the Mets snagged SS Zack Short (great name for a shortstop) off waivers from the Tigers. We all know the Tigers are so good that they have tons of surplus talent to burn. Grade A+. Later that month the Metsies dove head-first and naked into free agency when they snagged pitcher Austin Adams and 2B Joey Wendle. At what age do you ask people to stop calling you Joey? Anyway, two incredibly savvy signings, to be sure. Grades A+ and A++. As December rolled around, they grabbed a couple of catchers off waivers from the Blue Jays and Mariners respectively, because you can never have enough pudgy borderline employees to dress up as Santas and send out to various charity events. Then… BOOM!… the Metropolitans made their move and signed Yankee batting practice pitcher Luis Severino to a $13 million one-year deal. With incentives, those numbers could climb to $13 million and one year. Grade A++++. I smell a Championship. At least I think it’s a Championship. It could be egg rolls. That same day they added RHP Kyle Crick, and two days later RHP Andre Scrubb. You can’t make these names up, even if they sound totally made up. Still, make no mistake, Christmas has come early to Queens. Season tickets sales must be scorching. I’ve already ordered my Scrubb jersey.

Packers Lose to Giants. AHHH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s so fun, and cathartic, to laugh at the Packers when they lose. It’s especially fun when they lose a game pretty much everyone thinks they are going to win. And it’s doubly-especially-fun when that loss comes at the hands of the Giants on a cold Monday night in New Jersey. Life is good.

A Word About the Giants and Jets. The Giants are riding a three-game heater into their game with New Orleans this weekend. Now THAT is a winnable game. So you should probably expect them to lose. The Jets, meanwhile, are taking their talents to Miami to take on a Dolphins team that just lost to Tennessee. Expect Zach Wilson to turn it over 2-3 times and then take solace in the arms of some South Beach divorcee after the game.

That’s all for this week. Come back tomorrow for Buddy Diaz, whom the Mets just claimed off waivers.

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About Angry Ward 736 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.