Tag: Dallas Cowboys

Improbable Comebacks from Worst Sports Injuries, Lou Gehrig & GOAT

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MOUNT SINAI – No, we’re not hosting today’s exchange from what is more commonly known as Jabal Musa – the mountain in Egypt’s Sinai Peninsula. That’s the possible location of the biblical Mount Sinai, the place where Moses Malone received the Ten Commandments. Indeed, we are reporting [virtually] from the famed NYC hospital, as per […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Staring Down Summer Through the Eyes of My Brothers

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BRONX, NY – So, it’s not even half over yet, and already I have no problem crowning 2020 as the runaway winner of “Worst Year of My Life, So Far.” What an absolute sh!tshow. Even Rod Serling would be like, “C’mon guys, all of these things at once? There’s enough material here for at least […]

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Great Boxing Trilogies and Boxing Out Cancer. Cheesy Bruin In The Ring

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BLOOMINGBURG, NY – When a pitcher misses a start once in a while, there’s always another arm waiting to substitute. But when a hurler fails to toe the rubber when slated, he becomes susceptible to relegation in the bullpen. This is most likely my last post for a bit, as I fend off that pesky […]

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MLB, NBA, NHL to Resume? Not Without Money Problems. Blake Snell, LeBron

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SPANISH HARLEM – The NBA, MLB and NHL have all had plans to resume or start their season at some point this season. While many people thought – and still believe – that we won’t have any sports whatsoever, I see the effort being made by these organizations to eventually get their product on the […]

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Replacement Matt: Korean Baseball, The Last Dance, Iconic Announcers Calling Video Games

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LOCK’D, NJ –  As we approach our umpteenth week indoors, I think we can all collectively state we have lost our goddamn minds. When I read an article on The Athletic that Gary Cohen is excited to call video games for the network, you know things are bleak. When we are excited to get up […]

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Sports Rain Man: Cowboys Get Dalton, The Last Dance, US Women’s Soccer Lawsuit

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EL BARRIO, EL FALLS – Happy Monday, all. I wish I could do Draft Weekend again, as I found it far easier. But this is what is on tap for today: & US Women’s Soccer Lawsuit. Cowboys Get Dalton – Considering starting quarterback Dak Prescott doesn’t have a new contract – it’s in the last year, […]

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Sports Returning Soon-ish? The Quiet Will Echo

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THE LIVING ROOM, NY – We’ve now gone almost two months without sports and it doesn’t look like things will be getting back to normal any time soon. While some sports like golf, NASCAR, and UFC have announced plans to restart without fans in the near future, the way forward for MLB, the NHL, and […]

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Angry Ward Wednesday: Zona Wieners, Sour Giants, and Other Sports Food Outlets

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WHATEVER, USA – It’s exciting to hear that parts of the country are opening up again, giving people in places like Apalachicola and Driftwood Beach the chance to enjoy golf and all-you-can-eat popcorn shrimp and getting each other sick as f**k. C’mon baby, let the good times roll. It’s time for your moment on the BIG […]

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Uninspired Sports Commentary and the NFL Draft. Vrabel, CeeDee Lamb, Kingsbury

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BLOOMINGBURG, NY – Ever have one of those days where you have to grind through whatever you need to do? I’m talking about the most menial of tasks like brushing your teeth, showering and eating that have become less necessary during this pandemic. Well, I’m there right f***ing now. A routine of nothing is wearing […]

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Alternative Celebrity Owners For Mets, Knicks & Cowboys. Denzel, Alicia, Judd?

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FLUSHING, NY – Even in the bowels and shadows of La Guardia Airport, The Sun Also Rises. And it has, finally, making the entire borough of Queens look significantly better. Sure, it’s still colder than normal and the virus has the streets 90% empty – or 10% full – depending on your perspective… but today […]

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