Lame Lundquist, Tim Tebow Whiff, Blazing Hot New York Yankees

17 Comments

“My body was going one way, leg the other way and I had an impact on my hip. So we’ll take some time here to get some treatment and heal.” –Not Tim Tebow

MARLBORO, NY – Sometimes in the sports world, as in life, things aren’t always as though they appear. Three noteworthy topics all dealing with local teams give me something which to opine. The trifecta include the Henrik Lundqvist Injury, Tim Tebow Tryout and the blazing-hot New York Yankees.

Not those Chiefs!

All the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Heimlich, I mean Henrik, together again. And so we have word that The King of No Cups is on the shelf for two to three weeks with a “a muscle strain in his hip.”  I am talking about the New York Rangers goaltender Henrik Lundquist who seems to have tweaked himself somewhere from the waist down during the Blueshirts 5-2 win over Florida this past week. And Eddie Shore once sent Joe McGrath of the Charlestown Chiefs a terrible masturbator… but I digress.

Serendipitously, the Rangers now turn to the better statistical net-minder on their team, Antti Raanta, whom has seen an unusual number of starts (20) for an understudy at this juncture. Moreover, Raanta betters his counterpart in GAA 2.32 to 2.65, Save % .922 to .913. and has three shutouts to The King’s two. Not so coincidental is the timetable for Lundquist’s return of one week prior to the start of the playoffs, giving him the necessary rest a 35 year-old needs at this point.

Raanta was Ranting after claims of being interfered with in last night’s loss.

In my estimation the Rangers are also unwilling in giving up the first wild card slot, which guarantees a softer opponent than the one they would face in the 2 vs. 3 divisional match-up in the Metropolitan. They are almost a lock with a 12-point lead for that spot and have no thoughts of finishing higher, so the timing of this whole injury thing is a bit fishy.

“Gosh, I was trying to hit a dinger and win it. I so wanted to… For me that’s honestly I still have to work on, ‘Oh grit your teeth and go to work.’ I was talking to Jay (Bruce) for a while about it, ‘Breathe Tim, just breathe, be smooth.’ So many little things to work on.” -Tim Tebow

The Tim Tebow Experiment is all but over after God’s favorite son went 0-7 with three strikeouts and nary a bit of contact with the ball during his two-game Spring Training tryout. Tryout? Is that what they’re calling it when an Instructional League, Member of the Flock, makes the jump all the way to the Big Leagues? He never had a chance and every sports fan knows it was just a ploy by the Wilponzis to make a little extra dough down in Port St. Lucie, via more asses in the seats and jersey sales. No matter how much he sounds like the Dalai Lama in his experience, Tim Tee-ball being given a shot means there are at least one or two players worthy of a chance who didn’t get it because of this publicity stunt.  If I’m one those prospects I’m pissed-off for being undercut by The Tebow Whiff.

“Golly. Was that a strike? I’ll pray for your [bleeping] eyes.” Tim Tebow (USA Today/Jasen Vinlove photo)

Meanwhile, from the Gulf of Mexico

The New York Yankees lead all of Spring Training with a 13-3 record, I know they have the most championship trophies in the Majors but can we wait until July before anointing them with another title? Some of their fans (DJ Eberle, Ben Whitney, Buddy Diaz) would have you think – based upon Grapefruit League play – it’s in the bag. It’s called the Exhibition Season for a reason.

That’s it. Please comment below and come back tomorrow for Misinformed Bombers Backer DJ Eberle. And please follow us on Twitter – @CheesyBruin & @MeetTheMatts, Instagram @MeetTheMatts and like our Facebook page, Meet The Matt.

Facebook Comments
Share Button

Filed in: Cheesy BruinFeatured
Tagged with:

About the Author ()

A man amongst men. Cheesy Bruin kicked cancer to the curb - twice. The Cheese Man's a big, tough teddy-bear who survived the Bronx despite being an unabashed Boston Bruins fan and Sargent-At-Arms for Angry Ward's Urban Spur Posse. Nuff said. Doctors have taken most of this throat and had to make him a new tongue from thigh-meat (his own) and still he won't shut up about the Bruins, Cowboys, Pirates and Cleveland Cavaliers. And yes, his kids do love him.
  • Amy2ndRow

    Tim Tebow should just go away. Enough already.

    • vinny from brooklyn

      the yankees should get him. they gave ike davis a shot.

      • Cheesybruin

        The same way Ike Turner gave Tina a shot?

        • What has that got to do with the price of tea at Starbucks?

    • Cheesybruin

      Amy, with comments like that, you need to be upgraded to the front row.

  • benwhit

    Cheeseball? I’ve written nary a word nor made even one prediction about the Yankees. Lumping me in just because I’m a Yankee fan? Fake news.

    • Cheesybruin

      Management added names associated with our twisted MTM venture. I will always name a source when I have to whether they like it or not. Believe me. Always.

      • benwhit

        I should’ve known. Rookie mistake.

        • We categorically and unequivocally tonight all allegations.

      • What a sissy!

  • benwhit

    Enjoyed the caption on the Tebow pic.

    • Cheesybruin

      Also, the edit staff’s doing.

  • GrindingAx

    Cheesy, the injury to King Henrik may just be a blessing. Raanta is ready to take over and the Rangers may advance further with him.
    Tebow is rumored to be heading to the US Rugby team, next. He played the game once in his basement with some teenage friends as they were torn over their sexuality.

    • Notice the only sport he won’t try is soccer, because it sucks.

  • Buddy Diaz

    The Yankees are the Spring Training Chanps. 15-3! Yea man! lol

  • Junoir Blaber

    The Rangers have beenblessed with quality back-ups for the King. Aanta seems like the future. Feels like Richter and the Beezer.

Back to Top