Tag: Ruben Tejada

Angry Ward Wednesday: Yanks Reject Bryce Harper, World Cup Porto Party, and Utley Amazin’ Thor Video

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BRONX, NY – Look, it’s late. I think I’m losing what’s left of my mind. Against a lifetime of better judgement, I decided to take my kid to see the philharmonic in the park tonight. Who am I??? Just got home a shade before 11. Not good for her, but worse for me. I’m just gonna […]

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5 People Mets Fans Should Fear. @AldersonFake Reports

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AIKEN, SC – The Meet The Matts staff is always concerned about preparing Mets fans for an upcoming season. With much changing since the Amazins lost to the Kansas City Royals in Game 5 of the 2016 World Series back on November 1st, I felt is was my duty to keep you on the ready. […]

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What To Wear? Mets, Royals, Jays Unfortunately in Dodger Blue!

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ORANGEBURG, NY – So now that the annoying stuff – like getting to the World Series for the 5th time since 1962 – is out of the way, we can focus on what really matters: What To Wear to games and viewing parties for the Mets vs Royals or Blue Jays. Unfortunately, all wear Dodger […]

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Ebs’ Hot Takes: MLB Playoffs

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Saratoga Springs, NY – We’re less than a week into the MLB postseason and there has already been a lot of buzz around this year’s edition. From both of the lower seeds winning the wild card games to Chase Utley breaking Ruben Tejada’s leg in a controversial slide Saturday night, there’s a lot to talk about. […]

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Brady, Red Sox, Fenway: Boston offers Worst in Sports. Plus NBA Hero Ball!

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WALTHAM, MA – I had two colleagues with me most of the time while riding Amtrak last week. It doesn’t take much to find something – anything – that drives you nuts while in close quarters. Each of these guys had his own annoying pattern of speech. The older colleague offered nothing but, “Hey, at […]

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Jeff Wilpon and Mets Thinking out of “Cocoon”

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NEW YORK, NY – For months now, I have appreciated everyone indulging me as I ranted ad nauseum about the mismanagement, the pillaging, the sodomizing of the New York Mets by the individuals charged with operating this woebegone franchise.  Specifically, I’ve railed without mercy about the sheer incompetence of Mets GM Sandy Alderson. The criminality of […]

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Spring Training Guest Instructors Barry Bonds, Jim Leyritz and the Great Piazza!

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GRAPEFRUIT LEAGUE – One of the grand traditions of Cactus and Grapefruit League action is that often Spring Training Guest Instructors are brought in mostly as a gimmick by teams looking for… what? An image boost? Star power? Connecting to older fans? Unique expertise from a former player?  I’m not entirely sure what these Guest Instructors do bring […]

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Cheapskate Mets Send Players to the Rambo of Michigan

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NEW YORK, NY – “The Jar is Round, the Cup is Round… why don’t they call it… Round-tine”  This was the question posed by Kenny Banya as he prepped for his stand-up routine. To Kenny Banya, this bit was Gold! Gold, Jerry! And that was my immediate reaction when I read in the New York […]

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RUBEN TEJADA WAXES HIS EYEBROWS???

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NEW YORK, NY – We were nearly as startled by the end of the world predictions as were to find that Ruben Tejada, a utility infielder in the New York Met system, waxes his eyebrows. So, despite the fear that world was coming to its predicted end, we went to CitiField to investigate. It was… […]

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