ORANGEBURG, NY – So now that the annoying stuff – like getting to the World Series for the 5th time since 1962 – is out of the way, we can focus on what really matters: What To Wear to games and viewing parties for the Mets vs Royals or Blue Jays. Unfortunately, all wear Dodger blue.
Do we go hideous and wear our Orange Suits? They aren’t very flattering. But they’d sure as heck let Churanta or KC fans know that we’re not drinking their tainted Kool-Aid. And we won’t get hit by any cars – at least not accidentally.
We could wear the Home Whites with orange shirts. But because of Short Matt’s vertical challenges, we’re still in litigation with Fantasy Island producers over a branding issue. Frankly, we think they “misremembered” saying we could cop the Ricardo Montalbán (Mr. Roarke) and Hervé Villechaize (Tattoo) look. The whites might be a little boring, though, and would be de plane choice. Ahem.
We know what we won’t be wearing: Camouflage.
The Blue Suits are – truth be told – not actually suits. The “mature” jackets were an Overstock.com purchase and are still a tad over-sized. The pants, hold onto your hats for this revelation: are hospital scrubs – not pants or slacks in the conventional sense. As a result, they’re a tad sloppy and no longer starters – like Bartolo Colon.
The solution may have to be a Mix-N-Match Combo; like what the Mets have been embarrassing themselves with for years – do you hear us orange Los Mets jerseys?! The snazzy look from our Rubén Tejada eyebrow waxing piece comes to mind – as the vibrant neon orange pants steal attention away from the aging blue jackets. Kind of like how Conforto is stealing playing time from Jason Bay Cuddyer.
Of course, we could go with a White/Orange combo, but that ended badly the last time.
Feel free to opine below and come back tomorrow for a man with zero fashion sense, Junoir Blaber.