5 People Mets Fans Should Fear. @AldersonFake Reports

“Listen to me, Mets Fans…

AIKEN, SC – The Meet The Matts staff is always concerned about preparing Mets fans for an upcoming season. With much changing since the Amazins lost to the Kansas City Royals in Game 5 of the 2016 World Series back on November 1st, I felt is was my duty to keep you on the ready. With Opening Day now just 3 weeks away, I present the 5 People Mets Fans Should Fear… actually Hate!  (What, you were expecting a Leo Buscaglia piece here? I’m freakin’ Fake Sandy Alderson!)

You might think I’m talking about Donald Trump, since he’s on the verge of the Republican nomination for President. But I’m not. While Trump is an unambiguously horrible guy, you do have to admire how passionate he is about the Syracuse Orangemen.  He became one. [Ba. Doom. Cha.]

I’m also not speaking of Democratic front-runner Hillary “Rodham” Clinton. Odd that she’s dropped her maiden name in the midst of her Tour of Tourettes,in which she wantonly blurts out whatever she has to in order to stay ahead of Uncle Bernie. Who may actually be my Uncle. More on that in my next column. Back to the topic…

Chase Utley: Need I say more? He was a great player during the Phillies’ “run of excellence” between 2006 and 2011. But his stoic cigar store Indian face was the most smug of all the hated Phils players. Jimmy Rollins had the biggest mouth, but Utley’s arrogance drew my contempt. Throw in his beyond dirty take out “slide” of Mets SS Ruben Tejada in the NLDS, and it’s easy to despise this dude.  To make matters worse, it was announced that for his Tejada evisceration, he would be suspended exactly zero games. And why no suspension? Well, because of our next guy for Met fans to hate.

Joe Torre: Hypocrite doesn’t do the two faced Brooklyn native justice. Torre would be outraged and scream headhunter in the 1990s when Roger Clemens would routinely throw at the heads of his Yankee players.  As soon as Clemens joined the Bombers, all was fair. Including the 2000 World Series when Clemens threw a wooden bat shard directly at Mike Piazza-an offense STILL not explained-other than roid rage. Torre defended Clemens’ actions then. And of course as a senior official with MLB now, it was Torre who ruled that Utley should not be punished for wrecking Tejada’s leg. Torre deserves Mets fans’ vitriol. Every opportunity to screw the team that once fired him (and there were a lot of those) is seized by Torre.

Chicago Cubs: If you listen to every baseball pundit, you would naturally assume it was the Cubbies who broke their 107 year Championship drought last season. Led by the erudite Joe Maddon (who’s record of success is equal to that Terry Collins)  these Cubs drip arrogance and entitlement. They were swept by the Mets in the NLCS. The Royals won the World Series. But the Cubs are being branded this season’s favorites. Win something-anything-before walking around like you’ve accomplished something! The Cubs haven’t even appeared in a World Series since 1945!

Jeffrey Loria and David Sampson: Tthe owner and President of the Miami Marlins. These are rotten guys. Always ready to screw fans. Watch for Giancarlo Stanton to be traded by August this season. This is why the Yankees have kept the checkbook locked up all Winter.          mets

Michael Kay: So infuriating, so condescending. As smug as they come. A Yankee homer who sounds like a 9 year old watching his favorite players. Hates the Mets, makes Mike Francessa a sympathetic figure.

So Mets Fans, there’s your guide to people you should hate as we head into our 2016 Championship Season.

Please comment below, follow us on Twitter (@AldersonFake & @MeetTheMatts) and come back tomorrow for the man that puts “Champ” in “Champion,” Angry Ward.

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About Fake Sandy Alderson 175 Articles
Big Al Sternberg/Fake Sandy Alderson is from a not-so-nice part of Queens. But through grit and elbow-grease finds himself living on Long Island with his bride and twin 12-year-old sons. He is a sports encyclopedia... and a loose cannon. In fact, Michael Baron of Metsblog.com blocked him on Twitter. You can find The Blocked One's Tweets here: @AldersonFake