Angry Ward Wednesday: Good Riddance, 2012!

MTM Xmas 2012

NEW YORK, NY – There are no holidays at MTM. No vacations. No sick days. Not even on Christmas. I texted Short Matt early Christmas morning explaining that I was under the weather (not the Irish flu, but the genuine article) and asked whether he would get someone to jump in and post in my place or simply run a “Worst of Angry Ward” column from the archives. This humble request was met with more whining than a stadium filled with spoiled brats who didn’t get what they wanted Christmas morning. So much for the spirit of giving. So, now that I’ve shaved, showered, and powered down a Ramen Noodle Soup, I’ll give it my best shot.

As we wind down 2012, I gotta say I am happy to see it go. I know we all say things on New Year’s Eve like: “Let’s hope 2013 is bettter,” but this time we should really mean it. Friends and loved ones have suffered through natural disasters such as Hurricane Sandy and unspeakable horrors like what happened in Newtown, CT. Personally, yet another friend of mine was diagnosed with cancer. As we all sat around a restaurant table on Christmas Eve, I counted that four in our group were either cancer survivors or actively battling it. All of these things certainly give you some perspective. Before I drag everyone down even further, here are some sports-related things I’d like to see change for the better in 2013.

New York Mets. Forget it, the Mets are gonna stink in 2013. Bank on it. Next.

minnesota-vikings-jaime-edmondsonMinnesota Vikings. If the Vikings can somehow manage to beat Green Bay in Minnesota this Sunday they will open 2013 as an NFC playoff team, which is pretty good coming off a year in which they won three games. However, and JG Clancy can vouch for this, as a Viking fan I am conditioned to expect some sort of excruciating ending. Still, hoping Minny kicks 2012 in the teeth and gets in.

Seattle Mariners. The M’s pursued but did not land Josh Hamilton. While it would have been nice to finally have someone who can hit the longball in the Pacific Northwest, I’m glad they didn’t offer anything along the lines of the monster deal the Angels gave him. Instead, the M’s signed Raul Ibanez and Jason Bay (The Old Man and the CT-Scan) to one year deals, which is pretty hilarious. Better, they traded 29-year-old former Met pitcher (remember the J.J. Putz deal?) to the Angels for 29-year-old slugger Kendrys Morales. Cautiously optimistic. The AL West is a beast.

New York Giants. They are not making the playoffs and don’t deserve to. They get a pass because of all the recent success, but it really looks like this entire team has been playing injured all season long. They’ll bounce back in 2013 but not gonna be easy facing RG III every year for the foreseeable future.

New York Jets. I would personally like to ask the Jets not to change a thing in 2013. They provided so much humor this year when it was needed most. Mark Sanchez running up his O-lineman’s ass… Rex Ryan and Co. keeping the wraps on all the Tim Tebow packages they were working on only to reveal that they had none… Woody JohnsonMike Tanenbaum. Gold, Jerry. Pure gold.

Angry Ward
[Sick & Tired] Angry Ward
OK, I’m done. Message to Management, I am TAKING OFF next Wednesday. Please make a note of it.

Country Cam James tomorrow… Or is it Lori Levine?

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About Angry Ward 661 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.