Angry Ward Wednesday: Can the Mets Salvage Their Season & Other Musings

Mets beat Yankees Wright scoresNEW YORK, NY – The New York Mets are on a torrid three-game winning streak, taking the first two games of the latest (*yawn*) Subway Series from the Yanks. Last night their ace, Matt Harvey, got another no-decision in the Metsies’ improbable comeback win against Mariano Rivera.¬† And three nights ago, Ike Davis actually got a hit, which is something like a Bigfoot sighting. Anyway, despite not getting the win one for Harvey, the Mets indeed have an authentic winning streak going.

The question is, can this meaningless series against the Yankees somehow wake the Mets up and maybe save their season from a mid-June trip to the scrap heap? We’re not saying that they make a run at the playoffs or anything but a decent showing against the Bombers could be just the thing to get the Mets playing more competitive baseball, and thus make them worth following for the remainder of the season. There are a lot of “ifs” involved–if someone other than Murphy and Wright starts hitting, if Niese can put together some good starts, if Ike Davis steals Ted Williams’s head – but it’s not entirely out of the question. Stay tuned.

Kawasaki Let’s the Good Times Roll. Speaking of staying tuned, I think my new favorite player is Toronto Blue Jays shortstop Munenori Kawasaki. If you didn’t catch his postgame interview the other day, here it is:

Baseball needs more characters like this guy.

Ike_Davis and Big_Foot Meet_The_Matts
Ike Davis, Bigfoot & Grote2DMax

Hermann Monster? It looks like new Rutgers Athletic Director Julie Hermann has no plans on stepping down from her post in the face of allegations that she verbally abused players as Tennessee’s women’s volleyball coach 16 years ago. Apparently Hermann called her players “whores and alcoholics.” I’ve visited the Tennessee campus and¬†really don’t see what’s wrong with that. In fact you would probably find a preponderance of whores and alcoholics among the female populations of any major college. Guys too for that matter… if not more so. Seriously, isn’t being a whore and an alcoholic a big part of what the college experience is all about? If you’re not at least a little bit of a whore and alcoholic, you’re just not doing it right. Which brings us to an awkward segue…

Amanda Bynes. Cookie touched on Ms. Bynes in her column last Friday and she better watch out because Amanda recently announced that she is “suing everyone,” which is kind of an awesome proclamation. She’s suing her parents, suing the New York City Police, her wig maker, Rihanna, basically anyone who gets in the way of her upcoming nose job and proposed career as a rap artist. I am totally on her side and it’s not just because I don’t want to get sued. She’s working some things out and all these haters are just making it more difficult. She can use some friends right about now and I am personally extending a Meet The Matts olive branch and inviting her to the next barbecue on the terrace of MTM studios. I’m fairly certain she lives pretty close by and I’m sure Matt would be fine with her tossing anything she likes off his balcony. So, whaddaya say Amanda, you up for some grilled meats and camaraderie?

That’s all for today. Come back tomorrow for the whorey alcoholic stylings of Cam James, Lori Levine or Fake Sandy Alderson.

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About Angry Ward 756 Articles
Angry Ward, who has admirers at the New York Times, is the quintessential angry sports fan but for one exception... he's flat-out funny. And the angrier he gets, the more amusing his work becomes. Psychiatrists say, "Angry Ward's 'anger' is a direct result of "Bronx/Mets syndrome: growing up in the Bronx as a Mets fan." As if that weren't enough, his Minnesota North Stars abandoned him for Dallas, forcing him to embrace The Wild the way Nancy Pelosi embraces Mitch McConnell at charity events. And while his Vikings only tease him with success, his Golden State Warriors actually win these days. A-Dubya is MTM's longest-tenured indentured servant, its Larry David and quite simply, "The Franchise." (Junoir Blaber disputes this). Vent, curse and giggle with him on Angry Ward Wednesdays.