Another Arm Bites the Dust: Season Over for Yankees, Tanaka

NOTE: Different Matt was called to pinch-hit today after an untimely bike/cab confrontation landed Short Matt in… Bellvue. Not kidding. Thanks, Diff!
tanakaThe Bronx, NY – News flash: The Yankees are screwed. Masahiro Tanaka, the $175 million man is on the shelf for at least six weeks. And if rehab doesn’t work, Tanaka will need Tommy John surgery. It seems that whatever injury curse that has plagued the Mets in recent years has now made its way to the Bronx.

KurodaTanaka joins Ivan Nova, Michael Pineda and CC Sabathia on the injured list, meaning that the 64-year old Hiroki Kuroda is the last man standing from the Yankees’ opening day rotation. What once looked so promising now looks bleak. With the current crop of starting pitchers, the Yankees will need to score 8-10 runs per game to win. But right now the Bombers don’t even score 8-10 runs in a week. It all just means the Yanks’ season is over. Wait till next year! Or if Tanaka needs Tommy John surgery, wait till 2016!

Hopefully things aren’t that bad for Tanaka and he’ll be pitching again by the end of the season. I’m not optimistic though. Whether or not he makes it back this season really doesn’t matter. The season is over before the all-star break. It’s a shame that the Yankees couldn’t get their act together in a year where the Boston Red Sox are worse than the Mets. Even with all of the injuries, the Yankees are still five and a half games better than the defending World Series champs.

On to the World Cup. This week’s semifinals had a bit of everything. On Tuesday we saw ze Germans run rampant over hosts and favorites Brazil. Germany looked like they were playing against a team of 8-year old quadriplegic zombies. The Brazilians spent so much time watching Die Mannschaft boot the ball past them that they should have bought tickets. A few lucky ducks in the UK made a lot of money by betting on Germany to win by a 7-1 score at 999-1 odds. A lot more people bet on a 7-0 scoreline but a garbage time consolation goal for the Samba Boys┬áspoiled that party. Scenes of crying Brazilians in the stands made me happy. Then sad. Then happy again. The Germans are looking unbeatable.

dutch-fanswc20141In the other semifinal, Argentina and the Netherlands tried to bore the entire world to death. Not only were there no goals, but it looked like neither team was particularly interested in even trying to score. I guess they saw how Germany dismantled Brazil and figured it would probably be better to bow out before the final. In the end the Argies took care of their spot kicks after 120 minutes of mind-numbingly boring soccer and sent the Dutch packing. I know that soccer has become super popular among the younger generations here in the States, but it’s games like this one which make me think soccer will never truly catch on here. It was unwatchable.

Not many people are giving Argentina any chance of winning Sunday’s final. And with the way Germany has been playing, it’s hard to disagree. I guess we’ll see Sunday whether everyone is right and the favored team will take care of business like the Kings took care of the Rangers in the Stanley Cup Finals. Or whether the Argies will come out swinging and shock the germans like the Seahawks did to the Broncos in the Super Bowl. My money is on zee Germans.

Come back tomorrow for a man banned from being a cabbie, Junoir Blaber.

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About Different Matt 269 Articles
Different Matt is our cunning Cornell grad/rugby player. "Diff" joined us just after the switch from being "Mets only" to an all-sports stop. He's a Yankee fan; thus he was "different." Aside from the Yanks, he's a diehard NY Giants, NY Rangers and NY Knicks fan. He also likes long walks on the beach and cappuccinos and nearly died in Las Vegas.