NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ – My esteemed colleague West Coast Craig passed on the opportunity to discuss the J-E-T-S yesterday. So, being the unfortunate next man up, as well as the first since the Sunday Smackdown in San Diego to take his hacks, it’s my time to give Geno, Idzy, and Woody 40 whacks. At least…
Like anyone else I enjoy a good belt of Baby Shampoo now and again. And granted, Listerine is a must-have any time you meet your girlfriend’s anti-Semitic Spartanburg, S.C. parents. Furthermore, who among us hasn’t spent a night alone at the decrepit Showboat in AC back in the late ’80s with just your empty pockets and a bottle of Tylenol? The point is, Woody Johnson and the conglomerate known as Johnson & Johnson have been part of our lives for a long time, and they’re not going away any time soon.
But the Wood Man himself?
He needs to go. He needs to go back to saying stupid things about how it’s always wise to leave a little money in reserve. Easy for a 5th generation billionaire to talk financial prudence when he’s never had to worry about having his electricity turned off. Go back to mindlessly shilling for Mitt Romney, of whom you once said…”I’d rather see a Romney presidency than a Jets Super Bowl victory.” Take your Tuck’s Hemorrhoid Ointment, your Sudafed, your Splenda and your Lactaid and beat it. We’ve got enough speed-freak, itchy-ass, diabetic, lactose intolerant fools around here. 
Prior to last season, General Manager John Idzik arrived from Seattle. Problem is, Idzik is not exactly a football personnel guy, or a scout like most GMs in the NFL were. Idzy was a “capologist,” the guy who managed the salary cap for his team (Seattle) and did the calculations for signing bonuses and guaranteed money and that kind of non-football stuff. And it shows. In two years Idzy has added virtually no talent at all to a Jets squad in desperate need of it. On the Offensive side of the ball, the lack of weapons, of playmakers is stunning. The Jets have the worst skill position players in the league. And it shows. Football is not baseball. There is no developmental farm system. There are no 5 year plans in the NFL. Most infuriating is his and Woody’s refusal to spend to the salary cap. The Jets came into the 2014 season a whopping $22M UNDER the cap. Teams around the league would kill for a financial picture that bright! In spite of this cap room, Idzy chose to ignore several huge holes across the team. The defensive secondary, the Offensive Line-QB for cryin’ out loud! All were glaring deficiencies for the Jets coming into this season, and Idzy chose to do nothing about these areas to improve. I get that it’s Mr. Baby Powder who controls what gets spent. But Idzy has so far been terrible in bringing in difference-making talent that would quickly infuse this team with a spark.
Geno Smith‘s lack of “it” is obvious. This guy is NOT an NFL starting Quarterback any more than Mark Sanchez was. In a league embarrassingly flush with money and profit, the decision to start Smith for a 2nd season is inexcusable. He can’t play. But Woody and Idzik refuse to address these problems, choosing instead payroll flexibility in the coming years. No wonder they brought back Rex Ryan. It wasn’t a reward for cajoling a .500 season from last year’s team that was equally bereft of talent. It was his punishment. Whatever grand plan Woody and Idzy have for the next couple of years, they are sacrificing Ryan’s credibility by sabotaging him with the world’s worst offense. Rex doesn’t do much on that side of the ball, but c’mon. This team has Zero game-breakers. And Offensive Coordinator Marty Mornhinweg with a unique history of horrific offensive showings from Green Bay to Detroit to Philly is not exactly the guy to develop playmakers. No, it ain’t easy being green. Unless you’re Woody Johnson. Then you can just rub some of your Ben-Gay on it.
A man more present than the largest of hemorrhoids, Angry Ward… tomorrow.
